Life

Here's Why Millennials Have Good Sex

by Laken Howard

It seems like a major pastime of older adults these days is criticizing millennials, stereotyping us as a lazy and entitled generation with no work ethic and "special snowflake syndrome." Obviously, this is a totally unfair stigma, and couldn't be further from the truth, and we're definitely putting in work when it comes to one area: sex. And how millennials have sex is something we can all be proud of, because TBH, we're kicking ass at it.

How can one generation be "better" at sex than any other, you may ask? To put it simply, millennials, on the whole, are more open about sexuality than previous generations, and that's helping us make all kinds of amazing strides when it comes to having good, mutually satisfying sex. Millennials have started important conversations — about feminism, consent, sex and body positivity, and LGBT issues, among others — and these dialogues have been a catalyst for big changes when it comes to how we view matters of gender and sexuality.

The more open and honest we all are when it comes to discussing matters of sex, the better and healthier our sex lives will become. Here are seven reasons millennials are killing the sex game — keep up the good work, everyone, and remember that equality and communication are essential to good sex.

1. They're Using Toys

OK, to be fair, the older generations simply didn't have access to some of the amazing toys that we have now thanks to new technology. Nevertheless, it's awesome that so many millennials are comfortable using toys in the bedroom: Over a quarter of millennials have used toys during sex, according to this year's SKYN Condoms Millennial Sex Survey. Whether it's a male sex toy, a female vibrator, or a toy designed for couples, the extra stimulation sex toys can provide will definitely make things more satisfying for both partners.

2. They're All About Equality

Speaking of mutual satisfaction, it seems that millennials also have a pretty good grasp on what healthy sex should really look like: Both partners getting off, not just one. In the past, the "orgasm gap" has been a major obstacle for women everywhere. As recently as 2013, a study of 24,000 college students found that, while men got off 80 percent of the time, women were only reaching orgasm 40 percent of the time. While that disparity could be affected by many factors, the bottom line is that, often, the female orgasm is seen as an added bonus during sex, while men's ejaculation is usually the "main event" that all sexual activity builds up to. Fortunately, millennials seem to be making things more equal in the bedroom: the SKYN survey also found that an incredible 89 percent of women typically got off during sex. Hallelujah!

3. They're Concerned With Consent

There's nothing more important than having clear, enthusiastic consent for each new sexual activity you engage in with your partner, and millennials have been serious advocates for this. There should never be "blurred lines" when it comes to sex: If there is any doubt, don't do it. In a video for BuzzFeed in which millennials gave the "sex talk," they all emphasized the necessity of consent, which really gives me the warm fuzzies for my millennial peers. Sure, orgasm equality is great, but I think the focus on consent is one of the most important issues millennials have helped bring to light in recent years.

4. They're Sexting More

Obviously, sexting isn't *really* sex, but our affinity for sexting definitely helps millennials have better sex, because it makes communication about our wants, needs, and fantasies a lot easier. 57 percent of millennials engage in sexting, according to the SKYN survey, which is no surprise considering our tech-obsessed nature (#SorryNotSorry). If you feel comfortable virtually talking to your partner about what you like and what makes you feel good, it will be easier to communicate during actual sex, which will make it more likely that both parties will leave feeling happy and fulfilled.

5. They're Embracing Casual Sex

Bemoan the hookup culture all you want, but there are some serious benefits to being a generation that embraces the idea of casual sex. For one thing, as more women become comfortable talking about casual sex, we will hopefully (slowly) get rid of the sexual double standard women who are comfortable with their sexuality face. Plus, an openness to casual sex is good for everyone, because it perpetuates the idea that, as long as it's safe and consensual, having an active sex life is perfectly healthy. There's no need to "save yourself" — sex can be satisfying in a long-term relationship and with a one night stand. Whatever your preference, do you, and don't let anyone shame you for the sexual choices you make.

6. They Have Apps To Make Sex Better

Again, our smartphone-obsessed nature is not necessarily something to scoff at, because it provides us with useful tools for developing our sexuality and honing our communication skills. When it comes to finding new partners, apps like Tinder obviously have been a huge success in broadening people's dating pools. But aside from that, there are all kinds of apps that can help improve our sex lives. From PlsPlsMe, an app to help you communicate your turn-ons, to Whiplr, a hookup app for the kink community, technology offers options for millennials with all kinds of sexual interests. Maybe older adults should take notes from us and become more tech-savvy; there's a lot to learn from these varied sex-based apps.

7. They're More Open-Minded

In addition to supporting things like premarital sex and gay sex, millennials are also more sex-positive and open-minded than previous generations, especially when it comes to sexual fluidity. Although in the past people might have believed that you can either be just gay or just straight, our generation is challenging these antiquated views and starting new dialogues about the ways in which sexuality can be fluid and flexible rather than something you can label clearly in black-and-white. Whether you're bi, trans, genderqueer, or anything in between, millennials are accepting and tolerant, and open to exploring their sexuality openly in ways that past generations weren't. There's nothing that defines "great sex" more than having an outlook that puts acceptance and love of all people at the forefront.

Want more of Bustle's Sex and Relationships coverage? Check out our video on sex positions for small penises:

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