Life

Girl Has Epic Auto Reply To NSFW Pics In Texts

by Dasha Fayvinova
Cavan Images/Cavan/Getty Images

The current state of technology is pushing us closer and closer to a Matrix-like virtual reality. Our personal relationships and romantic entanglements are all bunched into small plastic/titanium boxes with glowing screens. We swipe based on people's profiles and play mind games by delaying texts to show our aloofness. And we tend to get unsolicited dick pics. A lot. Which is why this girl's automatic response to dick pics is not only wonderfully funny, but something you should keep on your phone at all times.

Don't get me wrong — a dick pic every now and then is welcomed if sent after a request. In fact, sometimes they are exactly what you need after a long day at work. But in reality, most dick pics sent are often sent without warning and usually come from strangers you barely spoke to online in hopes of going on a nice date.

In those cases, you need something as poignant as Sarah-Louise Jordan's biting response to unsolicited dick pics. It's a very thorough response. Here is just a small sample of the contents:

the a4 report, provided via postal service, will include personalised booklets that cover the following:

-why genitals are not an acceptable conversation opener (a step by step guide to saying hello)

-how to appear as though you weren't raised by wolves

-better ways to deal with your sexual frustration

-how to dress your penis for social media (a rough guide to pants)

and

-penis-reading: a new form of palmistry that may help you unlock the key to your future

Check. Mate.

A Twitter user @maellevie shared the post with her followers, quickly amassing over four thousand likes and close to three thousand retweets.

The entire post reads like a satirical ad to all those people who just don't seem to get it. It strategically breaks down what makes the exchange uncomfortable for those receiving the photos and points out that the photos should remain private. Again, this is just for those people sending photos to strangers who never asked for them.

The post suggests that for a small fee, the writer can create a report that will help the dick pic sender improve their image and live a better life because of it.

At the end of the day — don't send your dick pics to someone unless they ask, or it is something the two of you have agreed upon as an established occurrence. Otherwise, keep that snake in its cage — and avoid sending pics where you're grabbing the base tightly in order to make it appear larger. We can see through that.

Images: Cavan Images/Cavan/Getty Images; Giphy (3)