If you're feeling like your sex life is getting a little stale, know that most couples go through a period where they're in a rut. So don't feel badly if you're looking for something to improve your sex life and reconnect you with your partner. "When we get to the comfortable, stable place of knowing we have 'secure' status with someone else, it's common to lose the playfulness that got you together in the first place," Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure, tells Bustle.
The problem is that you don't always see it happening, it can be gradual. You're having sex slightly less often or making slightly less effort. Maybe you haven't moved out of the missionary positions in months — or you even stopped having sex all together. And yes, our sex lives naturally ebb and flow and that's fine. But if you let it go too far without working at it, you can have some real problems. It can start to affect your relationship as a whole, and the longer you wait to do something about it, the harder it is to get it back. The good news? It's really fun finding new positions to mix things up.
So here are seven great positions for giving your sex life a boost, because it's all about reconnecting:
1. Spooning
How To Do It: This one's great for any couple. Lie on your sides with on of you spooned behind the other. Your partner enters you from behind. Both of you can play with your boobs, clit, and anything else you can think of.
Why It Helps: When we think of behind, we normally think of doggy or nothing. But this position gives you the amazing sensation and G-spot stimulation that you get having sex from behind, but with more intimacy. You get the intensity and the closeness.
2. Cowgirl
How To Do It: Straddle your partner, leaning forward or back (whatever's most comfortable), you can bump, grind, and play with yourself.
Why It Helps: Because you'll feel like Beyoncé, but you also get eye contact with your partner. Meanwhile, they're getting an amazing view of you. So you're really paying attention to each other and have great sex.
3. Doggy With Vibrator
How To Do It: It's just like regular doggy, with a twist. Take your favorite toy — a bullet vibrator works great— and add it into the mix. Then you're getting crazy G-spot and clitoral stimulation at the same time.
Why It Helps: Because there's nothing like a vibrator to give your sex life a jolt. And after you're done, you can use it on your partner.
4. Sitting
How To Do It: One of you sits on the edge of a bed or couch, while the other kneels between your legs. Then, it's all about oral and fingering.
Why It Helps: Because if you're in a bit of a rut, oral sex is often the first thing to go. Bring it back with a position that focuses on oral sex and that you can really get comfortable in will help reconnect and rediscover.
5. Legs Up Missionary
How To Do It: Start in traditional missionary position, then have them (slowly) move your legs up on their shoulders. But if you're not that bendy, don't worry — you don't need to hook your knees over them, just stick with whatever's comfortable.
Why It Helps: If you're in a rut, chances are you're sticking with missionary most of the time. This position will let you ease out of the rut. It's the same basic position, but much deeper and more intense — plus you get great eye contact.
6. Modified Doggy
How To Do It: Either lay on the bed face down and pike up your hips— a pillow helps— or, the sexier version, start in doggy style and then let yourselves fall forward onto your elbows. Momentum is everything.
Why It Helps: It's just one of the best positions. The intensity of the position, the full body contact — it's perfect for dirty talk, which always gives your sex life a naughty boost. Trust me, try it.
7. Face To Face
How To Do It: You'll want to start with your hips a little higher on the bed then his are, then wrap one leg around them to pull them closer. It's a tight fit, so don't be afraid to try it a few times —and lube will help. Trust.
Why It Helps: Sometimes you need to really touch base with each other again and this position lets you prioritize that. Nothing to focus on but deep penetration, making out, and enjoying it with each other. Talk about mindful.
To figure out how to recharge your sex life, you need to focus on what's missing. Every couple is different. You might need more raw sexual chemistry or even to slow it down and soften it again. Figure out which of these positions works for you and give it a go — there's always a way to get your groove back.
Images: Caroline Wurtzel/Bustle (7)
