He's Finally Called Out For Snarky Politicking

Morrissey has never been one to mince words on any topic — say, how he finds Lady Gaga "the opposite of erotic" — but when it comes to a cause he's passionate about, such as animal rights, the singer comes out with adverbs blazing. Whether refusing to go on Jimmy Kimmel Live when booked alongside the enthusiastic hunters of Duck Dynasty or storming off a Coachella stage because of the smell of meat, claiming "I can smell burning flesh, and I hope to God it's human," he is as unflagging as he is scathing — I mean, who could forget that time he commented on animal cruelty in China by calling the Chinese people "a subspecies"?

Most recently, however, Morrissey has turned his verbal arsenal toward Canada, deeming the country "fashionably dead" for its "greedy and barbaric" annual seal hunt on his True to You website. In addition to insisting that "killing baby seals with lightning brutality is now Canada's primary global image," he also went after Federal Fisheries Minister Gail Shea: "Is this a death that Gail Shea would wish for herself? Would it make her happy to be shot by a high-powered rifle?" But this time, unlike other past recipients of the singer's barbs, Shea chose to retaliate — and with an equally acidic sting to boot. In a statement delivered by a spokesperson, Shea fired back:

"This is clearly just another case of a millionaire celebrity, desperate for a hobby, shamelessly regurgitating misinformation and myths that fringe animal-rights groups have been pushing for years."

"Desperate"! "Regurgitating"! It's as if she took a page directly from Morrissey's thesaurus. Plus, Shea does seem to have a point regarding the singer's myopia; despite his assertions, I think most would put "maple syrup" and "hockey" over "seal death" when clocking "Canada's primary global image." And then, as if that weren't enough, she proceeds to slap him down further:

"In the future, I would urge Mr. Morrissey to consider the impact that his ignorant and inflammatory statements have on the livelihoods of thousands of hard-working men and women in rural communities. Anyone who takes a careful look at the seal hunt will see that it is humane, sustainable, and well-regulated. In fact, the process used in the seal hunt was designed by international veterinary experts, and is the most stringent of any wild animal hunt in the world."

Of course, Morissey — excuse me, Mr. Morrisesey — is likely not going to be swayed by her "sustainable livelihood" argument. This is, after all, the man who said that the 97-person massacre in Norway in 2011 was "nothing compared to what happens at McDonald's and Kentucky Fried Shit every day"; I'm going to guess that "humane hunt" will forever remain an oxymoron in his book.

So, we'll just have to wait and see how Moz responds, and with what level of intricately articulated disdain. My suggestion: start out with "Sweetness — sweetness, I was only joking"...