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Great Marketing Tactic, Coke. Not.

by Alicia Lu

Coca-Cola was forced to pull its latest ad three months after debuting it in North America, because the ads made hilarious, accidental reference to cocaine. The slogan used in the ads read "You're on. Diet Coke." Unfortunately, it was all too easy to read it as "You're on Coke." What came after was a wave of spoof ads, parody videos, and mocking tweets. Oops.

Diet Coke issued a statement shortly after clarifying, "Diet Coke in no way endorses or supports the use of any illegal substance." When The New York Times asked general manager Stuard Kronauge about the ad bungle, he responded, "It’s not at all that 'You’re On' failed." Apparently, the reason the ad campaign was dropped was because the company wanted "a different way to talk about the brand." And when asked about the cocaine reference, Kronauge said, "Iconic brands always create a conversation."

Without the drug reference, the ads themselves are pretty easy targets for mockery. The commercial features several people, including Taylor Swift, all getting ready for big events. They're nervous wrecks until they take a sip of Diet Coke. Who drinks Diet Coke to calm their nerves? And I'm pretty sure Taylor Swift's nutritionist, trainer, yoga guru, and personal chef have all banned her from even looking at a can of Diet Coke.

Plus, Coca-Cola's marketing snafu is ironic because the soda's original formula did contain traces of cocaine. Sure, they tweaked the recipe in 1903, but it's still far from healthy. While the soft drink may not be as harmful to you as a narcotic, you still probably shouldn't be putting it in your body.

1. Chemicals: Besides the 140 calories, one can of Coca-Cola contains 33 grams of sugar, which is way more than the recommended daily intake of 25 grams. Coke also contains high fructose corn syrup, which is also hazardous to your health and has been reported to contain mercury. What's worse is that the lower-calorie diet version might be even worse. The artificial sweeteners found in Diet Coke confuse your body, causing you to eat more, have been known to cause headaches, and have been linked to cancer in lab animals.

2. Coke Softens Your Bones: The carbonation in Coke weakens your bones by causing calcium loss. When your stomach is irritated by the carbonation, it uses the calcium in your blood as an antacid, and then your blood replenishes the calcium from your bones. In addition to the carbonation, Coke contains phosphoric acid, which reduces calcium in your bones as well.

3. Risk of Type 2 Diabetes: Sugary sodas are one of the most common and surefire contributors to developing type 2 diabetes. Studies have shown that even one can a day will greatly increase your risk. A University of Minnesota study found that drinking one can a day increased your risk of diabetes and metabolic syndrome by 36 percent.

4. No Nutritional Value: While it contains a laundry list of bad ingredients, you'd be hard-pressed to find anything healthy in a can of Coke. You're much better off drinking water, or if you're addicted to that fizzy feeling in the back of your throat, try seltzer or sparkling water.

5. Cell Damage: Nearly all diet sodas contain potassium benzoate, a mold inhibitor that could cause damage to DNA in the mitochondria and even deactivate it. The preservative has also been known to cause hives, asthma, and other allergic conditions.

6. Rotted Teeth: Soda is very acidic, with a pH of 3.2, which puts it closer to battery acid, which has a pH of 1, than water, which has a pH of 7. The acid eats away at the enamel in your teeth. Regular soda drinkers are known to have poorer dental health than nondrinkers.

7. These Practical Uses For Coke Will Turn You Off to Drinking It Forever. Get ready to gag.

  • Removes grease stains from clothing and fabric
  • Removes rust; methods include using fabric dipped in Coke, a sponge or even aluminum foil. Also loosens rusty bolts
  • Removes blood stains from clothing and fabric.
  • Cleans oil stains from a garage floor; let the stain soak, hose off.
  • Kills slugs and snails; the acids kills them.
  • Cleans burnt pans; let the pan soak in the Coke, then rinse.
  • Descales a kettle (same method as with burnt pans)
  • Cleans car battery terminals by pouring a small amount of Coke over each one.
  • Cleans your engine; Coke distributors have been using this technique for decades.
  • Makes pennies shine; soaking old pennies in Coke will remove the tarnish.
  • Cleans tile grout; pour onto kitchen floor, leave for a few minutes, wipe up.
  • Dissolves a tooth; Use a sealed container…takes a while but it does work.
  • Removes gum from hair; dip into a small bowl of Coke, leave a few minutes. Gum will wipe off.
  • Removes stains from vitreous china.
  • Got a dirty pool? Adding two 2-liter bottles of Coke clears up rust.
  • You can remove (or fade) dye from hair by pouring diet Coke over it.
  • Remove marker stains from carpet. Applying Coke, scrubbing and then clean with soapy water will remove marker stains.
  • Cleans a toilet; pour around bowl, leave for a while, flush clean.
  • Coke and aluminum foil will bring Chrome to a high shine.
  • Strips paint off metal furniture. Soak a towel in Coke and lay it on the paint surface.

Images: David Roth/Twitter