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Someone Baked a World Cup Trojan Horse

by Abby Johnston

Hey, Argentina fans, we hate to bring this up again, but let's talk about the World Cup. You lost. And apparently the German fans are hellbent on rubbing your nose in it. As if you needed any reminder about Sunday's loss, here I present to you the absolute perfect troll. Normally, we would take a consolation cake for just about anything, but this is just cruel.

Imagine this: A room full of sad Argentina fans are gathering to commiserate the World Cup game snatched right out of their fingertips. The tears are still wet on their cheeks, streaking blue and white flags down their face. But they still have each other.

I don't know who invited the German fan to the pity party, but everyone was really shocked and touched that they brought an Argentina cake! How nice! What beautiful fondant work! I didn't even know that you knew how to decorate cakes! Isn't it so nice to know that not all German fans are gloating?

So you're about to cut into this cake. Everyone's mouth is watering and you're about to eat your feelings. Everything's going to be all right. You've got the cake and you've got each other, and that's all that counts. Now, take a slice, aaaand...

Mic. Dropped. Maybe you shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth, but you should always inspect a gift cake. This is why. I'm not sure what lesson we should glean from this. Maybe that we should never trust a sympathy cake from the other team? That we shouldn't be eating to console ourselves? That Germans are fantastic bakers?

I'm crying for you, Argentina. Not even Lionel Messi's "golden ball" award could cheer up the disappointed team and fans, least of all the player. Messi expressed his anger on Monday after receiving the not-so-happy news.

“I’m very hurt at not being able to bring the Cup to Argentina,” Messi told press. “I am very angry at the way we lost, so close to the penalties, especially as we had the best chances. I do not care about the ‘golden ball’. I am just upset by the wasted chances."

And not to mention that cake. UGH. I wonder if Messi has seen that? We should put a social media blinder up for him. Pobrecito.