These Lyrics Might Become Awkward Very Soon

In case you live under a rock, I need to let you in on some pretty big news: Jay Z and Beyoncé are seemingly headed toward divorce. Actually, even sub-rock cultures need to know about this so they can prepare as necessary — are you listening, rock people?! At the end of every relationship, there comes a period of reflection. What went wrong? Where did the love go? What sexually explicit lyrics are super awkward now? Well, maybe that last question only really pertains to musical couples. I don't feel qualified to speculate on the first two questions as I was not a part of the relationship (outside of my dreams), but I will explore the latter. If your name is Blue Ivy, please do not read forward.

1. It's too big/ It's too wide/ It's too strong/ It won't fit

SONG: "Ego"

Although "It" is explicitly referring to Jay Z's "ego," anyone with their mind even slightly in the gutter took the big, wide, and strong thing that won't fit to mean something else. Could this be the rub? Is Jay's ... err ... "ego" to big for Bey?

2. My wicked tongue/ Where will it be/ I know if I’m onto you/ You must be onto me

SONG: "Haunted"

After a slew of infidelity rumors, this provocative line takes on a much darker meaning.

3. You like it wet and so do I/ I know you never waste a drip/ I wonder how it feels sometimes

SONG: "Blow"

Despite the title, these lyrics would seem to be about a woman receiving oral pleasure. Beyoncé wondering how it feels ...? Bi-curiosity?

4. Why can't I keep my fingers off it?

SONG: "Drunk in Love"

If separate hotels are any indication, clearly you eventually could.

5. Driver roll up the partition, please/ I don't need you seeing 'Yonce on her knees

SONG: "Partition"

"But, also, could you tell people that I still fellate my husband? And that we're super happy and everything's fine? THX."

6. Private show with the music blasting/ He like to call me 'Peaches' when we get this nasty

SONG: "Partition"

Bey and Jay better hope they never get photographed shopping for or, worse, eating peaches.

7. I'm in my penthouse half-naked/ I cooked this meal for you naked

SONG: "Jealous"

I'm rich! I can cook! I'm naked! See, we're all good!

8. Baby, I know you can feel it pulse, deep in my waterfall

SONG: "Rocket"

Too bad Jay started chasing other waterfalls ...

9. I fill the tub up halfway then I ride it with my surfboard/ Surfboard

SONG: "Drunk in Love"

Awk-ward. Awk-ward.