Entertainment

Will Justin & Jessica's Baby Have Ramen Hair?

by Georgette Eva

I’m going to take you back to sixth grade biology when we learned about Gregor Mendel and his experiments with the pea pods. Mendel kept cross-breeding different types of pea pods to see what genetic traits came up. Would the peas cross their left thumb over their right thumb? Would the peas end up having blonde hair if one parent had blonde and the other was a brunette? — OK, I might be glossing over some of the unit as it was during those pesky formative middle school years, but I bring him up since I spent some time playing Gregor Mendel for, well, expecting parents Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake. When I heard that the actress and the singer were going to be first-time parents, I obviously had to see what their possible progeny would look like, and thanks to the science of websites like morphthing.com, I can play with celebrity genetics all I want. No pea pods for me.

I'm really happy for these two, and I know they'll be amazing parents. They always have such loving and amazing things to say about their relationship. Like how Timberlake told talk show host Ellen DeGeneres that, "Every once in a while I can catch a glimpse of her when she doesn't see me looking, and I have this moment where I'm like, 'If you never make a good decision... if you only make bad decisions for the rest of your life. You made one really good decision.'" Which practically made all of the girls in the audience sigh and look for their lusted over Tiger Beat posters post-show taping, I'm sure.

Then there was that time 7th Heaven alum Biel described marriage to Elle magazine as always having someone there to open the pickle jar. As a lover of pickles, that sounds about right. And love like that is a perfect to welcome a baby. So are you ready for the beauty that is Biel and Timberlake's bouncing tyke? Boy or girl, mini JT or a wee Jess will still be adorable.

Baby Boy

I can sort of see it. For one, this baby has eyes as Biel and JT do. OK, I'm being superfluous. This baby does look like a young Timberlake though, but I admit that I thought he'd have more Ramen-noodly looking hair like teenage JT had while choreographed dancing with *Nsync.

Baby Girl

This baby girl definitely has Timberlake's eyes and Biel's nose. I can see her starring in a reboot of 7th Heaven, once the CW decides to do old 9'0s remakes. Please oh please let that be soon.

It should be noted that babies created using online baby morphing technology often look very creepy, so Biel and Timberlake can really pat themselves on the back. As you can see, boy or girl, the expected mini Timberlake is going to be cute as JT's old baby blue velour track suits during his boy banding years. Their children will have eyes as wide as Biel's were when she played eldest daughter Mary Camden in a house with seven kids. But there's no rush just yet. We just can't wait to meet the wee one, whatever he or she turns out to look like.

Images: Morphthing