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What We Know About The New Hamburglar So Far

So hey, remember that wacky new McDonald's Hamburglar redesign we caught sight of last week? Well, we now know a little more about him, thanks to the Hamburglar's recent takeover of McDonald's Twitter account. On May 12, the notorious burger thief briefly gained control of the fast food chain's social media page as he revealed to the world his master plan of tracking down every single Third Pound Sirloin burger he can. Robble robble, indeed.

Although this new Hamburglar's arrival on the scene looks like a promo for the aforementioned sirloin burgers, McDonald's insists that this is not the case. Said Director of McDonald's Media Relations Lisa McComb in a statement to The Verge:

The clip that was posted to Twitter this afternoon wasn’t a commercial. As part of Hamburglar’s takeover of the McDonald’s Twitter account, the short video shows his double life: grabbing Sirloin Third Pound Burgers while keeping his identity under wraps via a call back to his family in the suburbs.

So, y'know… do with that what you will.

But the big question, of course, is this: Who is this strange masked man, anyway? What's he like when he's at home? Well, even though the two videos he posted to the McD's Twitter account are short — 30 seconds or less — they actually revealed a surprising amount about him. Here's what we know about the new Hamburglar so far:

1. He's relatively tech-savvy.

He uses a smartphone (with a burger-inspired case, of course), he hacked McDonald's Twitter account, and he's on Snapchat. But at the same time…

2. He has a poor understanding of how hashtags work.

“Tweet #RobbleRobble to keep them off my trail?” Sorry, buddy, but hashtags are not magical cloaking devices.

3. He's married.

AND he always answers the phone when she calls. Awwwww.

4. He and his wife are throwing a birthday party soon.

Do they have a child? Is that kid's birthday soon? I'm unclear about these particular details, but from the phone conversation he has with Mrs. Hamburglar in the first video, we know they're planning a birthday party right now. It could be for a friend or another close family member… but I like to think they have a wee little Baby Hamburglar at home.

5. His wife doesn't know he's the Hamburglar.

As evinced by the fact that he lies to her about where he is. Of course he's not at McDonald's, stealing a Sirloin Burger. Why ever would you think that?

6. He's been to New York recently.

Hi there, Statue of Liberty.

7. He's also not very bright.

“Undisclosed location?” Look behind you, pal.

8. His current obsession is the new McDonald's Third Pound Sirloin burger.

According to his “Wanted” poster, that's what he covets. Speaking of...

9. Whoever wrote his “Wanted” poster thinks he's really hot.

I kid you not — this is what the description of him reads: “Reddish brown hair, chiseled jaw, just the right amount of stubble, blue eyes… uh, anyway.”

10. He's probably not going to make it home in time for that birthday party.

He's on the run across the entire United States at the moment, sooooo… you do the math.

I don't use Snapchat, so alas, I am unable to follow him there; if you do, though, you can apparently watch his antics unfold in real time. What else will his social media presence reveal? Only time will tell!

Images: McDonald's; Giphy