Life

6 Times Fishing Was Actually Terrifying

by Kat George

I've always kind of liked fishing. Well, let me qualify that. I've always liked being with friends or family and sitting around gas-bagging while nothing much else happens. I also like casting off and reeling in. I could probably do without skewering live worms to hooks, but nobody's perfect. And although I have occasionally enjoyed fishing, there are elements of the process that are cause for concern. Like the vast unknowable ocean. Or giant fish that would eat you if given the chance. Or, y'know, this woman who almost had her hand bit off by a giant fish when she was trying to feed smaller fish. The more I ponder, the more I realize, fishing might just be terrifying and scary and maybe we should never do it again. (Or maybe we should just not do stupid things, fish-feeding lady.)

Firstly, who goes to the water to feed wild fish? Ducks, sure. Ducks are cute and lovable. Fish are weird and slimy and underwater. So I'm just saying: There's way better things to feed in the wild/at the park than fish. So there was her first mistake. Her second mistake is not having paid enough attention to Buffy. From beneath you, it devours.

In consideration of how terrifying and scary fish are, and how we should maybe never fish again, here are some compelling videos to that end:

1. Perch fish

These mofos can WALK ON LAND, CLIMB TREES, and SUFFOCATE BIRDS.

2. The presence of sharks

3. No seriously, sharks

4. Are you getting this? SHARKS

5. Vampire fish

6. Fish that are strong enough to rob your ass

Stay in school, guys. Just maybe not these schools of fish, if you can help it.