16 Top 'What Would I Say?' Statuses

Wondering why Facebook friends have been posting nonsensical status updates lately? Maybe your friends are just nuts, but most likely they've been playing with a new app called "What would I say?" Here's how it works: Basically you give the app/game access to to your Facebook account, and it generates status updates by grabbing and combining bits and phrases from your status history. Then you can post them to Facebook as status updates — signed "YourNameBot" — if you want.

Dumb? Yes. Addicting? Also affirmative. For me, anyway. I found myself making just one more, okay just two more, okay just a few more ... Some of them are laugh out loud funny. Some "What would I say" statuses wind up inadvertently profound ("we have had wise fathers..."). A lot of the statuses are dumb — grammatical nonsense, or things like "Listen up (insert your friend's full name)." I know this because I think I looked through about 100 of them. (I haven't gotten this jazzed about an online game since Free Rice).

But I'm not alone: "What would I say?" has been spreading rapidly around social media. Though some have mocked it as an exchange of privacy (wait, that still exists?) for artisanal status updates, most users seem okay with this trade-off. The oft-hilarious results can be broadly appreciated, but hold extra humor when your reading your own, because ... well, it does sound like something you would say.

My personal favorite has been: "Oh, man; can't believe I might not even slay any marauders with $4 vegan empanadas." Unfortunately, that gem was lost before I started taking screenshots of good ones (combined, some of them would make a wonderful T.S. Elliot-style poem). Here are my favorites since then:

1.

Fancy.

2.

Ballad of a hard-traveling tempeh cook.

3.

Is that too much to ask?

4.

Lies! I would never sell off good mountainlovemaking men.

5.

Sad but true.

6.

All the makings of a very good party.

6.5.

All the makings of a very bad party.

7.

Almost forgot my password, though ...

8.

Ce n'est pas comme une pipe...

9.

Smart guy.

10.

Smart bet?

11.

Too soon, Elizabethbot!

12.

Too true.

13.

A love story.

14.

Rumors!

15.

Plot of the lost Agatha Christie book.

16.

Feminist blogs ... Yep.

Image: Fotolia