Scalia Had Some Snark Up His Robe For His Dissent

On Wednesday morning the Supreme Court finally handed down their ruling regarding the legality of the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare). SCOTUS decided to uphold the universal tax credits central to Obamacare, but the decision was, of course, far from unanimous. Judge Antonin Scalia wrote the dissent on the Obamacare case, and as ever, his comments have not been dull. Scalia has spoken out over his displeasure with the ruling and with the Affordable Care Act, revealing the controversy still at play over a law that benefits 6.4 million Americans, and has been in place for the last five years. Let's just say: the Judge is hurt.

Reading the final decision was Chief Justice Roberts, who called arguments for the lawsuit posed by the opposition "unpersuasive," and ultimately decided that government subsidized health care exchanges will remain on the federal level as dictated by the Affordable Care Act.

The public seems to be anticipating the dissenting comments almost as much as the decision itself, and in what reads like an angry diary entry from a highly intelligent and well read college student's diary, Scalia has delivered his remarks.

SCOTUS-Care

This quote started circulating right away. In an apparent expression of disdain over the Court's upholding of Obamacare, Scalia quipped that perhaps the law should have it's name changed to reflect the role of SCOTUS in continuing federal subsidies for health insurance. I see what you did there, Scalia.

Words No Longer Have Meaning (!)

In a bit of overstatement, Scalia opined that this decision has heavy consequences for basic language! Scalia wrote that "words no longer have meaning," because the Affordable Care Act states that healthcare is established by the state, but the ruling ostensibly determined that states do not establish the Affordable Care Act independently. Scalia's fears here are perhaps a little over-dramatic. Maybe one of his fellow judges can clarify for him (again) that the decision means states can't opt out, and not that states aren't a participating entity within Obamacare. Calm down, Scalia.

Pesky Contrivance....

Try to read this without laughing. The more times I read it, the more silly it becomes. It's nice that Scalia is up on his Shakespeare, but tut tut for thinking that we wouldn't realize that this reference is to a sexist remark from Hamlet ("Frailty, thy name is woman!). Here and throughout the dissent, Scalia seems to ignore the purpose of the Supreme Court, which is to make the highest level decisions about legislation by means of their own interpretation. Everything the Court does is some sort of contrivance, which doesn't necessarily render the decisions illegal.

Jiggery-Pokery!!

I say this with full sincerity, Scalia deserves some credit for turning what could be an impossibly dull document some entertaining lingo. In a nod to the Brits, Scalia uses what is now my new favorite vocabulary word to scold his colleagues on the bench of lying. Jiggery-pokery, use it in a sentence today! I want to see this trending on Twitter.

Who Will Watch The Watchmen?

I'm not an expert, but I'd guess the IRS?

Drop The Mic

Scalia, my dear Judge, THIS IS WHAT THE SUPREME COURT HAS ALWAYS DONE, and will do forever. You take votes on decisions. That is literally choosing a favorite. This time it wasn't your favorite, but you still have plenty of chances. It'll be okay.

Images: Supreme Court