Beyonce's Soul and 6 Other Insane Queen B-Themed Items You Can Actually Own
I know, I know. You love Beyoncé so much it hurts. You're so in debt to her for her musical gift to the world that you just called Apple to see how many times you could buy a copy of her visual album. You've outlined your mirror with pictures of her face and you chant "You have just as many hours in the day as Beyoncé" every morning to rev yourself up — and too be fair, it's not a terrible mantra. You just can't get enough Yonce.
Luckily for you, Etsy's got your back. The hand-made item mecca has a wide array of unique Yoncé items, including her soul and a few other sundry nonsense things. You know, the usual.
The Soul of Beyoncé
For those who love Bey so much they can’t contain their urge to literally merge their own souls with hers. For most people, this isn’t possible. But you aren’t most people. You’re the person who’s about to pay 13 whole dollars for Beyoncé’s soul, which is apparently pink.
The seller doesn’t explain what happens when you drink it, but I think it’s safe to assume you just become Beyonce, right?
It’s an accessory that serves as the perfect antidote to Beyoncé Fever. If you’re the sort of person who’s tired of hearing about what a Goddess Mrs. Carter is, then go ahead and wear this pin everywhere you go. That way, the rest of us will know that you don’t want to talk about amazing things and instead opt ask you about the weather or how mold forms. Weirdo.
Image: Etsy/ obliquecity
For the Bey-loving homebody. You’re too old-fashioned for a framed photo or a painting of Beyoncé’s heavenly mug, yet progressive enough to enjoy songs with lyrics like “Make sure you clean that/ It’s the only way to get the flavor” from a song called “Blow.” This cross-stitch pattern is for you, Sharon Osbourne.
Image: Etsy/ bluegiantstitch
Beyinion or is it Minyoncé?
I’m sorry, I don’t know who’s buying this. Do me a favor, if you buy this, please find me and tell me why. Hey, at least it’s “signed?”
Image: Etsy/ 21CenturyshoP
Oh, Beyoncé, Won't You Be a Deer?
Yes, won’t you, Beyoncé? Because, really, isn’t this painting just suggesting that like the majestic deer, Bey is a creature sent down from the heavens to frighten, inspire, and please us with her infinite beauty? Of course, Beyoncé doesn’t generally dart in front of cars that are just trying to make it safely down a mountain road, so the metaphor isn’t quite complete. Discount?
And in case Bey isn’t enough, CelebsWithAntlers makes a Kanye, Princess Leia, and Stannis Baratheon. So, you know, get it.
Image: Etsy/ CelebsWithAntlers
It’s Queen B as Lady Di for some reason. There’s probably some scathing commentary in here about celeb worship, but we’re too busy thinking about Bey can really pull off just about any haircut. Isn’t she amazing?
Image: Etsy/ Kaesthetics
I suppose it’s only fair that after Beyoncé’s publicist tried to scrub “unflattering” Super Bowl photos from the internet that the internet responds by making them immortal. Plus, if you want to think about this flask… with a green Beyoncé… and the She-Hulk logo through rose-colored glasses, you could say that it makes B a superhero, right?
Image: Etsy/ rockyart