At one point or another, every relationship hits a rough patch. And you will fight. It's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just life. Whether it's because the honeymoon phase is over, or after you have children, or you're just simply out of sorts and have no idea why, everyone should just expect these little patches of rough waters to pepper themselves in their relationship. On numerous occasions. But how do you know when it's a rough patch or time to break up? In other words, how do we know that these patches are in fact just our relationship's new reality?
This can obviously be tricky, especially because you always want to fight for something important to you, which in this case, is your relationship. It's also for this reason — combated with the strong love and loyalty that goes along with that— you may even be ignoring the little voice in your head that's screaming: "This is not temporary! Abort mission!"
We all know that voice just like we know the expression "go with your gut." But if you're still not sure exactly what that gut is saying, or you just need more affirmation to back it up, not to worry. Here are nine signs that double as key indicators that this patch could be more of a plot... and it may be time to root elsewhere.
1. It's like Groundhog's Day, Every Day
Same argument on repeat. Does this sound familiar to you? If you're always fighting about the same thing, it means this thing is not only not getting resolved, but no one is even taking any steps to solve it. So, just call yourself Bill Murray, because when it comes to your relationship, you are living the same life over and over and over and over again.
2. You Avoid Talking About It
Avoiding the elephant in the room is only going to make that elephant grow even larger. And ignoring this problem, just means you don't want to deal with it — which, let's be honest, speaks volumes on your investment in the relationship.
3. Or You Do Talk, But Never Actually Resolve Anything
You know when you decide to get on a better gym routine, and you have this big revelation about what you need to do, and that lasts a total of, um, about two days? This is very similar to when you and your partner successfully identify and discuss what you need to do to get your relationship back on track. Then, you just don't do it. At all.
4. You Hold Back Your Feelings
The more you internalize your feelings, the more it's obvious you aren't comfortable communicating them with your partner. Or, it means you're afraid of upsetting or triggering any major reactions from the other person. Both of these are not signs of a couple that's on the same team.
5. You Start Resenting Your Significant Other
It's one thing to be annoyingly passive aggressive after a bad day, but it's another to just full on start resenting your partner. This is an extremely slippery slope, because typically once the resentment starts, it's very hard to stop and/or reverse it. Bottom line: it means you're angry; if left untreated, it will only grow to fester your relationship.
6. You Avoid Doing Things In Public Or Socializing With Others
Because you're so unhappy with where you are as a couple, it's possible you aren't doing as many things out together or with your friends. Whether that's because you don't want your friends to see how much the two of you are fighting (the equivalent of taking a long, hard look in the mirror), or you just aren't in to hanging out together—closing off social interactions is a sure-fire sign that something is amiss, and it could remain that way.
7. Your Sex Life Hit A Wall
When was the last time you two hit the sheets? Even if it's relatively often, do you even feel a connection when you do it? Is it always one of you initiating? Keep in mind that just because you're having sex, doesn't mean you qualify for a good sex life. Take a deeper look at what's happening — or maybe not so much happening — in the bedroom as they can be very telling.
8. You Always Focus On The Negative
If this really is just a rough patch, you should and will be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. The light in this case, means you talk about the good in your relationship, including what the other person does that makes you happy. If you're always focusing on the negative, and continuously beating the dead horse of what's wrong without one scrap of positive thought about the other, it means you may have lost any glimmer of hope for the future of your twosome.
9. You Feel Like You're In This Alone
There is nothing more upsetting than feeling like you're in this by yourself. It's like your relationship is this giant boulder, and you're the only one pushing it. It's both physically and emotionally exhausting, and just like it sounds, will get you absolutely nowhere. You know if this is you, and if it is is, get out and find someone who is more than willing to push that boulder with you... because that does exist.
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