Old Woman Rides A Mechanical Bull Like A Boss

Very few things get me to both laugh and sigh in amazement quite like this video of an old woman riding a mechanical bull. "Riding" is such an understatement. This woman is MURDERING that bull with her skills. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even have the balls to get up on that thing, let alone in front of a crowd on a beach. Instead, I would stand on the sidelines and guess how old this woman is, because I want to be her when I grow up.

If any of you have connections to her, feel free to hit me up on Twitter because I want to interview her until the sun goes down. She seems like such a breath of fresh air in a world filled with self consciousness. Just look at her go. I feel as though she has knowledge to share with mere mortals such as myself.

I just have so many questions bubbling up inside of me. Where is she from? Did she come with her friends and family or just by herself? Where is this magical beach? Can I be her best friend? I’ve been analyzing all 79 seconds of this clip and I have found some clues. I am willing to share them with you all. Follow me on my Sherlock Holmes-esque journey...

Her True Identity

I wanted to know who this mystery woman was. Turns out it's Linda. Linda from Chicago. I'll be honest, I'm not even surprised because Chicago makes cool people in a factory somewhere.

She Is The Real Life Katniss

Like our personal hero Katniss Everdeen, she was the first to volunteer as tribute.

Boss Ass B*tch

This is what being a real woman is. You ride that bull.

I don't want to spoil the ending of this video so check it out for yourself below. Trust me, you wont regret it!

Images: Giphy (1), YouTube (3)