Most of our goals revolve around being "finished" with something, rather than learning how to enjoy it more, do it better, focus harder, and so on. It's because we think that life is about how much we accumulate (or how much we can prove our worth) that we end up not really living it all — measuring how happy we are by how happy it seems like we should be.
The most pervasive is the idea that one day, we will be settled, and one day, we can be happy. We project an idea of "someday" and confuse it for completeness, as though becoming happy, or at least fulfilled, is something you can stumble upon eventually, rather than having to work and find it here and now.
This idea of "settling" (finishing, reaching happiness) makes sense, and can easily be confused for the feeling of hope. A lot of the time, we need to hang onto the promise that someday things will change, but we also must realize that they won't unless we start working for them to right here and now.
The reality of the fact is that there is no such thing as "someday." There is only here, there is only now, and no matter where this awareness of "now" happens to be (today, tomorrow, 10 years from now) it is the only thing that exists, and unless we figure out a way to make the most of it right now, we'll never be able to achieve that elusive happiness. Here, four reasons why there's no need to chase the finish line, because "settled" is a thing you never really achieve.
It's Not About Landing The Job, But Doing The Work
Getting the job is the easy part. It's being able to do — and keep doing — the work day-in-and-day-out that makes or breaks not only your career, but a huge portion of your life. You can't sit around and think that waiting for your dream career to emerge or finally work out will make you happy. It's still work, and unless you know how to find happiness in it now, you won't be able to later.
A Relationship Is Only As Good As You Know How To Sustain It Each Day
The wedding is one day — a few hours, maximum — that ultimately means very little in terms of how good your relationship is or continues to be. It's a formality, and can be extraordinarily meaningful when you're with someone you love deeply, but ultimately, it's not the wedding you should be dreaming of, but what it will take to make a life-long partnership work.
There Will Always Be Something To Worry About
If you are looking for something to worry about, you will be able to find it, no matter what. It's a matter of how well you train yourself not to focus on how you don't want the negative, but rather, the opportunity that lies within it. Worrying, however, does not accomplish that.
Happily Ever After Isn't Real — There's Only Happily Living Right Now
You will never get to a point in life — no matter how healed, happy, perfectly situated, well-adjusted and wonderful you are — that you won't have a bad mood, an off day, a lost job, a sick loved one, and so on. There is no happily ever after, but luckily, there's something even better: the decision to make right now the best you possibly can.
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