The funny thing about life is that you never know what it will throw at you next. Everything could be completely perfect one minute, and then the next thing you know your whole world is thrown upside down, and your life is completely out of control.
I've always been a big advocate of change, and I believe that there are a lot of benefits when something new or different comes into your life. It can be scary at first, but it will usually work out for the better, as I've learned from my own life and experiences. But I still must admit that I really only like change when I know that I'm in control of it. For example, when I decided to make the move to New York from Florida, I had time to prepare myself for the change ahead, and it was my choice to begin with. Bu if a family member gets randomly sick, or a relationship goes south without any warning, that is when I really start to panic.
Change can sometimes be hard to come to terms with. Recently, I've been going through a lot of changes in my personal life, and I've been trying to find ways to take back control of things. It's been rough at times, but a huge learning experience. Here are six tips I've found especially helpful during this rough time.
1. See The Event As A Wake Up Call
If your world has recently turned upside down, that usually means a negative event has occurred. And most of the time, the event was nothing of your doing; it's usually an outside force that you had no control over. But instead of dwelling on it, you can view this event as a wake up call. Take this time to examine your life and how you'll move forward. According to Tiny Buddha, view this event as a gentle reminder to appreciate life again. Think of how it can make you grow as a person and make you stronger. You can either let this thing haunt you for however long you would like, or you could let go of the past and try to move forward. Things usually happen for a reason, and whatever you decide to do from this point forward, make sure it's the right decision by going with your gut.
2. Accept The Situation And Learn From It
Depending on how serious the situation is, it can be really hard to accept the reality of what just happened. As much as we would like it to be, life is never going to be easy, but this is how you learn and grow up. According to Forbes, Kathy Caprino, a career success coach and leadership trainer suggested to embrace what life is trying to teach you in situations like this. It can be hard to see the lesson at first, but you'll appreciate it once you do. If your life has become out of control because of a mistake you made, try not to dwell on it — you won't learn and grow if you just feel guilty all the time. Take this time to analyze why you made the mistake and how you can learn from it for the future so you won't do it again.
3. Have Alone Time With Yourself
Instead of focusing on outside influences, try to solely focus on yourself. I personally have a hard time with this one because of my anxiety, but I've been trying to open my eyes to the situation by asking myself, "What do you want?" When you keep on asking yourself this question and fully acknowledge the life you want for yourself, you can start to make a to-do list (mentally or physically) of moves you need to make to reach that goal. This will require a lot of self-talk and prep, because the decision you have to make might not be the easiest one, depending on what's going on in your life. Try not to put pressure on yourself, and instead focus by writing down your emotions and thoughts in a diary, or mediate. Soon enough, the answers will come to you.
4. Learn To Say No
During these type of times in life, you need to learn how to say no. Don't add more to your workload, and don't feel obligated to go out when you don't want to. Right now, all you need to do is focus on what will make you happy. Your friends and family will understand if they are aware of what you're going through. Time is very precious and you need to recharge your life to the way it once was — in control. But don't always keep on saying no, because life is not going to stop. Just listen to yourself and you'll eventually know when to say no and when to say yes. According to The Huffington Post, Founder and CEO of WorkingMomsOnly.com, MaryEllen Tribby said by doing this, you are creating balance in your life by cutting down on unnecessary tasks and protecting your priorities.
5. Stay Optimistic
This might be easier said than done, but you have to stay positive in a really tough situation. If you don't, your world may still feel lost and you may still feel doomed. But don't think that feeling lost is a bad thing. According to The Huffington Post, life coach, Lamisha Serf Walls explained that this is a great time to get quiet and listen to yourself. I find it helps to assume that everything happens for a reason. Take this time to accept it and try to see the positive from it — like getting to know yourself again, redefining your goals, etc. The more you lose the negative, the more you'll be open to the idea that life will go on even after when you feel lost. Time is usually your best friend when it comes to things like this, but talking to actual friends and family can help you see the plus sides, too.
6. Start Working Hard For Your Goals
If you feel your life is still lost and you don't know how to regain control of it, then you need to start working on your goals. Try to focus on a small goal each and every day. Each little goal you accomplish will benefit the future you and ultimately, make you feel better and more in control. Even though my relationship is on the rocks, I've realized that focusing on my goals is making me happy because I'm doing what I love. According to The Huffington Post, when you do what you love, your confidence will improve, you'll enjoy life more, and you'll want to continue to grow and learn. It's easy to just give up when you feel lost, but you're the only person who can change a situation from a negative to a positive.
Sometimes when life gets in the way and you start to feel lost, it's OK to take time for yourself to regain control. Don't be afraid to open up to others and don't forget to love yourself. Usually things happen for a reason, and you're stronger than you think.
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