He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so don't bullsh*t him when you're hooked up to a lie detector, SON. If that seems like a departure from your ordinary carols of yore, know that it was a very brutal reality for these kids Santa hooked up to a lie detector before asking if they were naughty or nice this year. Distractify's latest video has these adorable children lying through their teeth, but really, can you blame them? This ain't 1998 anymore. The things you were willing to lie about for a Tamagotchi are small potatoes compared to a hoverboard, yo.
Of course, Santa doesn't just stop at asking whether they've been naughty or nice. He poses a series of well-crafted questions that reveal the real priorities of these precious punks, which are, unsurprisingly, PRESENTS. I can't really cast judgment, because even as a full grown adult I am all about the swag (except these days "swag" is less Gameboy, more Trader Joe's gift cards — hello from the other siiiiiiiiide). Still, watching this video you can't help but wonder what your wee self would have said in these kids' shoes, particularly if you were asked any of these questions:
Have You Been Naughty This Year?
Apparently this kid's been playing Grand Theft Auto 5? ... I'm still too scared to sleep without a nightlight, but it's casual.
Would You Rather Have A Monster Truck, Or World Peace?
Listen, this kid knows what's up. Monster trucks are the REAL key to world peace.
Do You Think Jesus Is A Good Gift Giver?
Jesus only had twelve apostles. What's that compared to eight gazillion elves, amirite?
To see the rest of these kids' adorably shady answers to Santa's questions, watch Distractify's full video below: