What To Do When Someone In Your Bridal Party Pulls Out

You were probably forewarned that wedding planning was going to be a little stressful, but you probably weren't prepared for one of your bridal party members to flake out on your big day. What do you do when someone in your bridal party pulls out? For one thing, don't panic.

There are endless reasons for why one of your besties may need an out: money (weddings are expensive for everyone involved), they may be moving or changing jobs (again, finances are tough), someone might have an unexpected pregnancy (although, we love the rocking bridal bump look), or maybe your friendship just isn’t as strong as it used to be.

Whatever the reason, if you find yourself confronted with one of these sticky situations, don’t let it make you feel, well, off. No matter what you’ve seen in magazines or assumed from blogs, your day can be as traditional or offbeat as you want it to be. So, don’t let this last minute change of plans phase you in the slightest!

It’s also really important to remember how this decision might be making your friend feel. As stressful as it can be for you to hear it, it’s probably twice as hard for your pal to spill the bad news, so it’s really important to keep calm and hold your composure. Here are four great tips and tricks to help you deal when you feel like you just can't even deal.

1. Stay zen and breathe.

Flipping out on anyone isn't going to do anything to improve the situation, and you'll most likely regret it later, especially if this happens closer to your "I dos." Before responding make sure you're not hungry, tired, or stressed about something else (like a looming work deadline, for example). Pause, force yourself to take a couple of deep breaths, and give yourself a chance to process your feelings.

2. Let go of perfection.

Looking at beautiful real weddings on blogs, magazines, and other social media apps can be great for sourcing ideas, but they can also spark an unrealistic desire for perfection. Remember your wedding is much more than how it looks, and it's going to be wonderful no matter what.

3. Toss out rules or traditions.

The best part about being a modern bride or groom is that you don't have to stick to antiquated standards. You don't have to have an even number of attendants for the sake of having matching sides. So, if there is a last minute change in line up, you don't have to stress about balance. If you've already budgeted for the extra person (bouquets and boutonnieres, for example), you could use the cancelation as a chance to honor someone you might not have thought of, like your grandmother, best guy friend, or even your dog. Because, why not?

4. Don't take it personally.

There are many reasons someone might back out of a bridal party: financial strain, work relocation, or having a baby. Try to be understanding, even though it's hard for you to hear this news. Remember, it was probably really hard for your friend to tell you, too. It's definitely a stressful setback, but it's not worth loosing a friendship over.

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Get more bridal party advice on Loverly:

How To Handle Those Touchy Bridesmaid Subjects

18 Oh-So-Pretty Bridesmaids in Pastels

7 Ways to Mix-And-Match Your Bridal Party for Ultra Chic Style

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