Lululemon's Taking Over The (Thin) World

Lululemon: It's not just for women anymore. Not that Lululemon is for most women, either, not as long as their sizes stay what they are. But now the (in)famous yoga clothes retailer is going to give new sizes a go – not by carrying sizes for bigger women, of course, but by making yoga pants for men. Apparently the first Lululemon for men store is scheduled to open in 2016. So we all have a few years to prepare.

Really, it'll be interesting to see how this whole thing works out, considering what happened the last time a man tried to wear Lululemon yoga pants. Will the new pants even be big enough to fit men? Well, presumably they'll have to increase the size at least a little. But the stores will probably still only be interested in catering to the skinniest of skinny members of the male half of the species.

So it seems that soon no one will be safe from the terrifying question of "Will I fit into Lululemon pants?" Men of the world, be ready, for it is crisis like none other. And children can't escape either. Lululemon already has a clothing store chain for children, Ivivva, which has been quietly opening stores since 2009. Like Lululemon, they offer yoga clothes and classes, just for little one. I had no idea, and now I that I do, I am terrified. But soon, these kiddie-Lululemons might be inescapable since they are set to become even more numerous soon. So whether you are man, woman, or child, no one is safe.

Personally, I find it highly mysterious that Lululemon is able to stay in business at all. Never having shopped there, my understanding is that they sell highly expensive, poorly constructed clothes that only fit a small percentage of the population before they turn see-through or fall apart. Even a pair of kiddie yoga pants will set you back about $64 dollars, and the adult varieties often rise into triple digits. I don't know about you, but I do not have that kind of money to spend on yoga pants, even if they could fit me. So maybe this latest move is a sign that Lululemon is desperately trying to diversify rather than taking over the world?

Yeah, no I didn't thinks so. It's a Lululemon world, I guess, and now we all get to live in it.

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