Kate Middleton and Prince William's Royal Birth and 5 Other Insane Celeb Baby Announcements

Just prior to the birth of the royal baby, we learned that Kate Middleton and Prince William will be announcing the newest addition to the royal family on a traditional golden easel, accompanied by cannon fire. Sure, this might seem like a bit much, but it's nothing compared these extravagant (not even royal, might I add) baby announcements.

The Royal Baby

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Just prior to the birth of the royal baby, we learned that Kate Middleton and Prince William will be announcing the newest addition to the royal family on a traditional golden easel, accompanied by cannon fire. Sure, this might seem like a bit much, but it's nothing compared these extravagant (not even royal, might I add) baby announcements.

Baby Maxwell Johnson, aka Tiny Simpson

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Jessica Simpson avoided any celebratory trappings after the birth of her first daughter, and went straight for the cash. Little Maxwell made $800,000 just by being born: that's how much People Magazine paid for the rights to publish the first pictures of the newborn. Can we hope that went into a college fund? No?

Max and Emme Anthony

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Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are another celeb couple who chose to get paid for having kids over making any sort of public event out of it. We'd like to say that we'd never sink so low, but $6 million dollars might be enough to make us forget any sort of moral high ground.

Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt

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We'll get to the more theatrical announcements right after we get over the fact that Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt sold the first pictures of little Knox and Vivienne for over $11 MILLION dollars.

Blue Ivy Carter

Baby Blue was born with her own social media fanbase. Jay-Z and Beyoncé kept the public waiting for pictures of the newborn, and then took the less profitable and possibly more respectable route of publishing their own pictures online. You can find Blue's adorable personal tumblr here. She's trying to reach 5 zillion followers by her first birthday, so get on it.

Penelope Scotland Disick: When Reality TV Produces Human Beings

Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick's entire relationship was E!-sponsored, so naturally they wanted to televise their reproductive abilities too. The birth of Kourtney's second child took place in front of E! cameramen for the season finale of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, and it featured an infamous shot of Kourtney pulling Penelope out of her body with her own hands. "Kourtney just loves to pull out her own children," Khloe commented on the show. That's why you're the best Kardashian, Khlo.