How To Have Sex Outside, Because Having An Escape Route Is Key

At some point, you may have done it or are thinking of doing it — sex outside. No, not in the broad-daylight-“Look at me!” way, but in the exciting, adrenaline rush can-we-really-get-away-with-this way. But before anyone takes off their clothes, there are key things you should know before you have sex in public or outside.

“Public” means different things to different states, according to CriminalDefenseLawyers.com. Aside from the obvious — like parks or roads — other places could be considered “public,” as well, such as hospitals and jails. Also, if you’re engaging in sexual acts in a private place, like your house, but you’re visible to passerby, it’s considered “lewd (or indecent) behavior,” which also has different definitions in different states. Like this case, for instance. Back in 1991, in People v. McNamara, 585 N.E.2nd 788, a New York court ruled that car sex was only considered public sex if people could see it. Interesting.

In certain states, “lewd behavior” could mean sexual acts between people who live together but are not married — even when the act isn’t public! In Georgia, for example, it’s illegal for unmarried people to have sex, period. Crazy, huh?! (Guess I won’t be moving there anytime soon!)

So, you’re caught having sex in public. Then what? Many states consider it to be a misdemeanor crime — which means, potentially, incarceration, and possibly a fine. Is it worth the risk? Only you (and your partner) can decide.

Let’s say you’ve decided to do it out in the open. Here are the main things to keep in mind before you have sex outside (or “in public”).

1. Don’t Do It In Crowded Areas

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Yes, this may be a given, but you don’t want someone to catch you on camera, like that couple in Florida who got arrested for it. (I’m sure there are others in other states, too.) They not only were found guilty of “lewd and lascivious” behavior after having sex on a Florida beach in the middle of the day, but they also had to register as sex offenders, and one of them was sentenced to two and a half years in prison — all of which may convince you to keep your clothes on (at least in public).

2. Determine How “Public” The Place Is

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Different states have different rules, so you may want to quickly search your state’s sex-in-public rules… just in case. Back in high school in Chicago, I remember making out in my boyfriend’s car near the forest preserve. A cop suddenly knocked on the window. We were innocent — and clothes were on — but the cop wasn’t concerned about the making out — “Just want to make sure you’re OK, Miss. A lot of people who come here are up to no good. So is this guy good?” He gave us his blessing to carry on, but not in the dark and isolated forest preserve.

3. Scope Out The Destination In Advance

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Like any kind of stakeout, you want to check out the setting in advance, at night and during the day, since it’s bound to be more crowded at certain times than others. Years ago, I caught a couple having sex at work. I knew them, and we later laughed about it — but their biggest note was that the conference room table was way more uncomfortable than they’d thought. (Couldn’t they have stood up?) But, point taken — assess the location (is it comfortable? clean? isolated?) and have alternatives.

4. Have An Escape Route

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When scouting the location, make sure you have an escape route. For instance, had I not known that work couple and caught them, what were they going to do, jump out the window? If you’re caught having sex outside, yes, you can run away — as long as you’re not in a place (i.e., a stairwell) where the only way out is past the cops. As a preventative measure, you may want to wear running shoes (and get into a routine of running regularly so you’re in shape to run when, and if, the time comes).

5. Be Prepared For Bad Weather

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This isn’t as serious as getting arrested, but it did happen to a friend of mine. A sunny day turned into a downpour and she and her boyfriend were too far into the act to stop. Hello, instant sex-in-the-shower. So, perhaps you should make sure there’s an awning around. (But at least they did get that shower afterward!)

6. Clean Up (And Don’t Leave Evidence)

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This one’s more a courtesy than anything else, but someone keeps having sex in my boyfriend’s carport every night, by my car, and they leave all their “evidence” behind. Gross. (And my poor car!) If you make the mess, you should clean it up (especially if there’s a garbage can a few feet away) — maybe carry some paper towels or bring a bag along. You already got away with having sex in public, so do you really need to flaunt it by leaving proof behind?

Images: Fotolia; Giphy (2-7)