Dsquared2 Fall 2014 Dragged Us Back Into the Asylum

Source: Tullio M. Puglia/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

This way to the psych ward, ma'am. As befitting the final day of Milan Fashion Week madness, the Dsquared2 show presented us with a series of deranged party girls. Their hair was disheveled, cigarettes dangled from their fingers, and it was hard to know if this stint in "rehab" (wink) was self-imposed or suggested by, say, a rich and concerned relative? 

The insanity was in the details: shoes clasped the legs like ankle monitors, necklaces turned into neck braces, and heavy bracelets danced up the arms like a series of restraints. The clothing was recklessly glamorous — last night's party animal turned into this morning's tabloid headline, for sure. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

“It’s been a long night,” she told the girl at the front desk as she checked herself in.

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

After signing away her rights for the next 30 days, she immediately light up a cigarette. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

Once the initial round of pills kicked in, she began sleepwalking every night. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

On snowy days, she took long strolls through the asylum grounds in nothing but ankle braces and a cape. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

The complimentary pajamas were surprisingly silky. Clearly, this was a madhouse for ladies who lunched. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

Nobody asked what she was doing when she painstakingly bejeweled her neck brace. Nobody dared. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

She dressed to the nines, but she still wasn’t allowed to see visitors alone. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

Her friends and family were shocked when she stopped wearing her favorite cocktail dresses, but she found strange solace in the regulation unitards — which she accessorized to the hilt. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

She was always ready for a close-up, even if it was just a security camera screenshot. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

Every morning, she woke and dressed for the ball, but the invitation never came. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

In a last-ditch attempt to finagle an early release, she toned down her wardrobe. A little. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

She’d do anything to keep her heels on. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

At one point, she dressed up like a nurse and tried to sneak out. Unfortunately, the other nurses recognized her immediately by her skirt, which was a good 5 inches shorter than the required “uniform.”

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

She never met a piece of medical equipment she couldn’t turn into a statement piece. 

Dsquared2 RTW Fall 2014

Tired of struggling, she cut her bangs short and wore funereal black for the remainder of her 30-day “rehab.” But was she really reformed?