Charlie Sheen's Scotland Trip Disappoints Loch Ness Monster Fans

Word on the street is that Charlie Sheen went to Scotland in pursuit of one of the world's most deeply rooted mysteries: the elusive Loch Ness monster. Apparently, when you've got a day to burn and you're Charlie Sheen, you've probably tried everything short of searching for mythical beasts in order to have a good time. Unfortunately, his supplies of a boat, a bottle of scotch, and a seriously excellent helmet didn't help much, as Sheen returned monster-less. He leaves in his wake a nation of heartbroken Scots, and me.

Personally, I think if anyone ever should have found Nessie, it needed to be Charlie Sheen. He was wearing a bronze Viking helmet, for crying out loud. I mean, imagine if Charlie Sheen had been the guy to conclusively prove the existence of the Loch Ness monster? I don't know about you, but my mind would've been blown and my life changed forever. It would've change the face of Scotland. It would've changed the world as we know it. The only thing it wouldn't have changed is Charlie Sheen, because he's humble like that.

I'll admit that the little part of me that was imagining Charlie Sheen riding Nessie to the shore like a drunken Viking is super disappointed. But hey, if he tried once, he might just try again. Until then, I'll keep watching Braveheart and crying with my fingers crossed, praying for the paths of Nessie and Charlie Sheen to cross once more.