Entertainment

Happy Birthday, Biebs!

by Mallory Schlossberg

Where to even BEGIN. When you beliebe, you can make it to 20? Today is Justin Bieber's 20th birthday, so it's imperative that we CELEBRATE the fact that he's been on the planet, blessing us with his existence and tabloid fodder, and at times, still giving us fond memories of the twee thing that he used to be.

Sure, there was a video released recently of him fumbling around jail, but let's focus on the good things, 'cause that's what you do on people's birthdays. So pass on over the wine as we raise a glass to — oh wait, nevermind the wine! He's still not yet 21! Sigh for the Biebs, who'll have to wait another year til he can legally toast his own existence. (P.S: You can buy vintage, kid-friendly Bieber party supplies, too!)

Well, the rest of us can raise a glass and celebrate the Biebs for his...

1. Inspiring Twitter Posts

Remember when he told us to STAY STRONG GOD LOVES US ALL about a month ago? Some of us had VERY strong and successful months; perhaps we should yield to the Biebs' inspiring sensibilities? Perhaps he should consider an alternate career as a motivational speaker? He'll have to cool it on the caps, though; most of us don't like to be yelled at on the Internet.

2. He Stays In Shape

Despite being in jail, he managed to do PUSH UPS, proving that he, in fact, really IS strong (at least withe upper-body strength stuff). Now he's a whole TWO DECADES strong!

3. In Hard Times, It's All About The Music

Biebs recently released a brand new song (which sounds like a direct response to haters and his sad, er, "broken," behavior), called "Broken." Now, normally we'd hang our heads low and shake them in consternation, but today, let's CELEBRATE THE MUSIC. (I don't know if you remember this, but Justin Bieber is a musician by trade, and this is what musicians do! Just saying, 'cause it's easy for the tabloids and the facts to mar pop music at times.)

4. This Is Still Real.

Yup. Memories.

5. He Coined The Term BELIEBERS

...And if you beliebe, then, uh, you gotta keep on beliebin'. The singer never fails to disappoint us with his fair share of entertaining (although, worrisomely disappointing and less-than-okay behavior) antics, and while, as stated previously, he cannot (legally) join us as we imbibe in celebration, we can only hope that next year, when he is legally able to drink...he'll be a responsible young lad. Er, let's just celebrate that he's still around.