Don't Worry, Leo Got A 'Russian Oscar'

After losing his fifth Oscar on Sunday, Leonardo DiCaprio has been awarded a "Russian Oscar" from a theater troupe in Chelyabinsk, Russia. The troupe says that the Oscar can be presented to him on March 27, but if he doesn't attend, they will ship the three-pound iron statue to DiCaprio. (Spoiler alert: He isn't going to attend.) A real Oscar is eight and a half pounds, but to make up for their measly statuette, the Chamber Theater troupe has also offered DiCaprio a number of other rewards for his performance in The Wolf of Wall Street. DiCaprio can attend any of the theater's plays for free and "use the theater's name in publicity campaigns." Oh, how nice of them to let him promote their theater that he has never heard of before!

But that's not all! The theater will also give DiCaprio any role he wants in any of their plays. It was at this point that I realized this Theater Group is hilarious and is taking any of this too seriously. (I think...) The theater's spokesperson Yury Sychev said, "As Leonardo does not speak Russian, we can start with offering him a wordless part of a servant in the play Plennye Dukhi (Captive Spirits)." But if he does learn Russian, you'd better believe they'll give him a better part. "Learning a part in a foreign language without knowing what it says shouldn't be a problem for a true actor."

If The Chamber Theater can send DiCaprio an Oscar, maybe all of us Leo fans should send Oscars of our own. You can make Oscars out of macaroni kindergarten-style. Or an Oscar carved from an Oscar Mayer hot dog. An Oscar decoupaged with tiny pictures of other people named Oscar —Oscar de la Hoya, Oscar de la Renta, Oscar The Grouch, fellow actor Oscar Issac. What about a chocolate Oscar covered with gold foil? Mine, of course, is the Lia Oscar — my naked form turned into a quarter pound gold statue. Hey! It's gotta be small! I don't want my form to be too visible!

I'm not sure my Oscar will give off the same message as the Russian Oscar, though. Sychev stated," “This strong-willed 'Russian Oscar' is to remind DiCaprio that he has to move on in spite of all hardships." Yeah... I don't think I can live up to that.