This 'True Detective' Finale Drinking Game Is the Perfect Way to Salute Your Favorite Series
The time is upon us, everyone. When all the memes have settled, and the theories have been laid to rest… we will say goodbye to detectives Rust Cohle and Marty Hart on HBO’s True Detective . The Louisiana-based drama has already been deemed one of the greatest dramas in television history after its first eight-episode-long season, it comes to a conclusion this Sunday.
Over the past seven weeks we’ve watched Matthew Mc...excuse me, Oscar Winner, Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson turn out incredible performances in a heart-stopping thriller of a series. True Detective broke a lot of TV norms not only with its cinematic aesthetics, but also by the showrunners choice to make it an anthology — meaning each season tells a full, complete story, and the following season doesn’t return to the same characters nor plotlines.
As nearly-perfect of a story Rust and Marty’s may be, it will be bittersweet to have to say goodbye to these too-short lived characters. But then again, part of what made the show so gripping was knowing that these eight episodes are all the time we have. And the creators made every shot count.
When a finale as big as True Detective rolls into town there’s only one thing to do…throw a viewing party! We’re created our own True Detective drinking game for you and your friends to get through what we can only imagine will be the most intense (and filled with the most fandom) hour of television since the Breaking Bad finale.
For starters, you’ll have to make an even number of Rust and Marty name tags for all of your friends. Then, before the show starts, hand them out randomly and have your friends wear their new ID. You may only provide cheap beer... we don't want you classin' up the place. The first rule of the True Detective drinking game will be: Any time your character drinks, you must also drink.
Please only play along if you're 21 and older. Drink responsibly.
Here we go! For the character specific rules...
If you’re Rust, you must drink anytime he:
- Points to the drawing of “The Yellow King.”
- Says the word “Carcosa.”
- Talks with an unlit cigarette dangling from his lips.
- Is shirtless and or sleeveless.
- Strokes his chin while asking someone about scars.
- Says a sentence that starts with “Time is…”
- Talks about having a debt.
If you’re Marty, you must drink anytime he:
- Reaches slowly for his gun.
- Says the phrase “My wife.”
- Purses his lips very intensely.
- Has a dry, sassy remark anytime Rust says something incomprehensible.
- Has a closeup of his eyes widening slowly and intensely.
- Brings up ‘95.
- Turns on the lights while Rust walks into places in the dark.
Everyone drinks when:
- There is a huge shoot-out.
- There is a shot of the beer can man.
- There is a closeup of the grill or back bumper of whatever vehicle Rust and Cohle are driving.
- There is an epic sweeping shot of where Rust and Cohle are headed with ominous music playing in the background.
- There is a shot of the satanic stick sculptures.
- You see an animal head or antlers.
Take a shot (IF!) when:
- Rust or Marty gets shot.
- Rust or Marty DIES.
- Rust or Marty gets arrested.
- Rust or Marty takes a shot (of whiskey)
- You or your friend's theory on how it ends is actually right.
Good luck standing up! And when the episode is over and you and your friends are no longer staring listlessly into the screen, there’s ONE MORE GAME!
Pin the Ponytail on Rust!
Step One: Print out this image of young, handsome Rust.
Step Two: Print out multiple copies of this old, battered Rust and cut off the ponytail. And you know the rest.
Images: True Detective/HBO