Carly Rae Jepsen's Horrific First Pitch Isn't the Worst One We've Ever Seen
They don't claim it's their skill set, but the incidence of laughably awkward throws by celebs at baseball games is unusually high. For people's whose lives are based on publicity, we'll be the first to say ... not all publicity is good publicity. Take "Call Me Maybe" singer Carly Rae Jepsen's questionable first pitch at the Tampa Bay Rays game. It's reminded us of the good, the bad and the terrible throws we've witnessed on the baseball field, and they're gathered here for your viewing pleasure. Hate them or love them, there is something satisfying in a bad way about watching celebrities throw a baseball like the skinny kid who always got picked last in gym class.
1) Carly Rae Jepsen
Sometimes I really pity Carly Rae (yes, we're apparently on a first name basis, no, I will not explain myself). First, everyone and their mother pretended to hate on "Call Me Maybe," despite singing it for an entire year. Then, we all were shocked and weirdly disappointed to find out she's actually 27-years-old, and not the sparky young teen she marketed herself as, but this pitch takes the cake in Carly Rae Jepsen moments. I mean ... look at this.
2) Justin Bieber
Keep in mind this was in 2010, when Bieber was more of a child and less of an asshole, but he pitched for the White Sox and just generally looked like a 4-year-old throwing a baseball. This pitch isn't bad because it's poorly thrown (well, not compared to the others anyway), it's bad because it's Justin Bieber, and he is sort of a monster now.
3) President Obama
Yup, Brobama stepped up to the plate aaaanddd ... threw a little high and wide. Not the worst, but hey, if no one expects celebrities to be good pitchers, you can be damn sure no one expected the President to be. Being able to run a country is not necessarily synonymous with a decent pitching arm, but oh well ... we hoped.
4) Charlie Brown
In case for a moment you were flabbergasted by a cartoon's ability to pitch a ball (sad fact: I was), know that this is both much funnier and more sad than you initially imagined. They had some poor shmuck rent a Charlie Brown suit from the nearest costume shop and he pitched the first throw at a Pitsburgh Pirates game in 2009. Because it's Pittsburgh, and they probably couldn't get anyone better. However, in fairness, the dude inside the suit probably can't see home base.
5) Mariah Carey
So of course Mariah Carey tottered out onto the field in stilettos. Not only that, she made the rest of woman-kind look positively awful because she threw so weakly. C'mon, you totally have dirty marathon sex with Nick Cannon and you can't get the ball farther than two feet in front of you? The same woman who brought us "Glitter" is now making Carly Rae Jepsen look like Greg Maddux. The fun never ends.
6) All of the Kardashians
Just when you thought there was nothing cringier than watching Mariah teeter out onto a field in her heels, the Kardashians come along. The best part of this isn't Khloe's stripper boots, or Kim's all white outfit, it's the catcher who has to dance out of the way of all the pitches but tried to keep it casual. Good going catcher.