This “Tindergarten” App Is Fake, Thank Goodness

It’s apparently never too early to introduce your kids to technology. Who knows what they could do with it? If you teach them to use Facetime, they might save your life — or, if you let them get their hands on an app called Tindergarten, they might join the ranks of the Future Lady Killers of America.

Um… yikes?

Oh, wait, never mind — happily, Tinder's younger cousin is fake. It is, however, a hilarious concept (as long as it stays a concept, that is). The creation of a quartet of enterprising lads from San Francisco, the app’s fake website boasts, “After you learn to wipe, learn to swipe! Looking for your first crush or next sandbox playdate? We’ll find the perfect match!” And with a face like this one, who could refuse?

I like that Derek’s interests include jumping on beds, building forts, and running through sprinklers. He’s a six year old after my own heart. He’s totally on top of his pickup artist game, too:

Wowzers. He must have quite the crayon collection. Also, I don’t know who his lucky lady is, but she is rocking that gigantic polka-dotted bow. You go, girl!

Anyway, according to its creators, Tindergarten will be “coming hopefully never” to the iTunes app store and Google play store. My only fear is that someone will spot this… and make it a reality. That would be terrifying. If you’re totally in love with Derek’s baby beard hat, though, you can nab one for your very own six-year-old over at Etsy. So, y’know… at least there’s that.

Images: Tindergarten