America was still neck-deep in the presidential race when the nightly chat shows came on this Tuesday night. On The Daily Show With Trevor Noah, the anchor and his correspondents tried to make sense of the surprising results. As a Donald Trump presidency began to look more and more likely, the comedians told funny-sad jokes about what these results say about the country. Jordan Klepper chimed in as the show's "Senior Trump Correspondent" to boil down the amount of votes cast for the Republican nominee to the proof of one inspirational phrase plus a serious caveat: any American kid can grow up to be president — if he's a dude, that is.
Beamed "live from Trump Headquarters," Klepper was lost for words at first when describing his feelings over the election. "I don't know. Yeah, I'd love to have something cute to say about this, but I gotta be honest: I kinda assumed Hillary would have it locked up by now," Klepper said. "So I didn't really prepare anything for this alternative, horrifying scenario." When Noah encouraged him to look for the silver lining in the electoral college map, he made a game effort. Klepper said:
Positives. Let's look on the bright side. You know that lie we tell kids? You can be President? It's true now. Literally anyone can be president. It helps if you have a penis.
That's right. The Daily Show is here to remind you of the sad truth that if you have no qualifications, run an unfocused campaign, and alienate every minority group you can, you can still be elected to the highest office in the land. As long as you're not a woman, that is.