The holidays are stressful for everyone, but it's an especially trying time of year for single people. No, it's not because being "alone" during the holidays is just too sad to handle — many of us are single because we want to be single — it's because of the obnoxious things every single person hates hearing during the holidays. 'Tis the season to be judged, apparently.
It seems that, for some reason, people in relationships use the holiday season as a secondary Valentine's day, an opportunity to exchange thoughtful gifts, make memories, start traditions, and express their love for one another. (They also use it as a time to argue over whose family is more tolerable, what constitutes a romantic gift, and when they should take the "next step," but people don't seem to mention that as often.) If you're single, you miss out on all of these romantic activities — but what exactly are you really missing out on? The rest of the world seems to believe the answer to that question is "everything," even though it's not. According to friends, family, and popular culture, there is nothing worse than being single on the holidays.
Newsflash: being single isn't the plague, it isn't a death sentence, and it isn't a year without Santa Claus. In fact, other people being single is none of your business, so before you make a comment at your next holiday party or family gathering, keep in mind these things every single person hates hearing during the holidays.
1. "This Must Be A Really Tough Time Of Year For Someone Like You."
I'm sorry, someone like who, exactly? Since when did being single make me a leper?
2. "Do You Hate The Holidays? You Know, Because You're Alone?"
Not nearly as much as I hate you talking to me like this.
3. "At Least You Don't Have To Shop For Anyone! It's So Expensive."
Actually, my shopping list is plenty long enough without a significant other to add to it.
4. "I'll Kiss You At Midnight!"
Please leave me alone, your pity kiss is not welcome on my lips.
5. "I'm So Jealous, I Wish I Didn't Have To Do The Holidays As A Couple — It's So Stressful!"
Then, I don't know, break up? I hear that's pretty easy.
6. "What Happened To Your Ex? They Were Great!"
7. "Just Stand Under The Mistletoe, Someone Will Come Along."
I'm sorry, do I have "desperate" tattooed on my forehead? I don't need a magic plant to land a kiss.
8. "Maybe Santa Will Bring You A Boyfriend This Year."
I'd rather he brought you some manners.
9. "So-And-So Is Also Single, Want Me To Set You Up?"
There's actually a lot more to compatibility than being single. Like, is he a murderer, for instance?
10. "You're Lucky You Don't Have To Fight Over Where To Spend The Holidays."
Yeah, because having so many people who love you and want to see you on Christmas sounds like such a drag...
11. "The Holidays Would Be So Much Nicer With A Few Kids around..." *Narrows Eyes And Stares At You.*
Excuse me as I run as far away from this conversation as humanly possible.
12. "Does This Time Of Year Make You Depressed?"
Not as depressed as the number of times I've been asked this question makes me.
13. "But You're So Cute/Pretty/Nice/Fun, How Are You Still Single?"
14. "There's Always Next Year!"
Here's to hoping I make it on the Dating God's nice list...