Kate Middleton's Royal Baby Will Be Moody & Irrational Thanks to Astrology
The royal baby, his potential highness, has graced us with his presence on the Earth. His no-doubt carefully deliberated decision to exit the womb on July 22 at 4:24 p.m. London time doesn't just mean cash for everyone who placed bets on today's date — it also means that we have one more fact by which to make useless predictions: astrology. Here's your guide to everything the planets and space and stars and whatever else have to say about the baby's developing personality.
The tiny prince's birthday lies directly on the cusp between Leo and Cancer, which apparently means that he's under the double influence of the Moon. In case you're unaware of what the Moon does to your temperament, it makes you emotional and sensitive, as well as loving and family-oriented. Astrologers across the internet advise you to keep your emotions in check when possible, unnamed baby.
According to a website that makes custom astrology birth charts, the royal baby was born under rising Scorpio as the sun was at 01 degrees Cancer. We have no idea what that means in a literal sense, but it's been interpreted to mean that the baby will be quiet and often misunderstood. Although courageous and risk-taking, he will be easily hurt by others and respond frequently with sarcasm (so we'll at least have that in common).
He'll also be curious, especially about the nature of human psychology, and will be very loving and generous, but only when his own emotional needs are met — when these needs are not met, he will retreat into himself and become insecure and selfish.
To summarize, the royal baby will either be sensitive and loving, or he'll turn out to be a sarcastic brat ... or maybe a little bit of both.
We're taking bets now.