The Real Reason George Clooney Got Engaged to Amal Alamuddin Is for the Visa, Yo
As you of course know, because everyone knows, George Clooney is engaged to Amal Alamuddin, a British lawyer. Alamuddin sounds like a pretty awesome and extremely successful person, so it's no surprise that Clooney, or anyone with a right mind, would propose to her. But the thing is, he repeatedly said he would never get married, so why propose now? Something other than falling in love and realizing you want a lifelong commitment must have happened, right?
Here's a few guesses at why Clooney decided to get engaged:
Wants A Visa
He wants to live in London or she wants to live in the U.S. and they don't want to do anything illegal. Sometimes satisfying your worldly ways in a legal manner makes you throw your beliefs about marriage out the window.
Wants Free Health Insurance
Clooney has been secretly living without health insurance for years and he doesn't want to pay the Obamacare penalty. This way, he can move to England and take advantage of public healthcare.
Is Secretly Pregnant
Clooney is preg and wants to make things official before the baby arrives.
Wants To Be Knighted Someday And This Is Step One
Here comes George Timothy Clooney O.B.E!
Filming Gravity Drew Attention To The Fragility Of Life
"Amal! We have to hold on to what we have now and hold on to it tight!"
Got Tired Of Your Crap
Oh, you wanna talk about him being an eternal bachelor? No more of that!
Ran Out Of Things To Do With Lake Como Villa
It is the perfect setting for a wedding.
Wanted To Get Married All Along, But The Women Weren't On Board
He proposed to all of the women he dated, but Alamuddin was the only one to say yes. Once he got the ring on her finger, he screamed, "Hooray!" and immediately began showing off his Pinterest boards.
Watched The Notebook
Clooney watched The Notebook and realized he found the woman who would make him repair a old, rundown southern home and wanted to make it official. Through tears, he pulled out the ring and said something about how they're both birds.