Royal Baby Name Still a Secret but These Names Are in the Running

It's been two days, and still, Kate Middleton and Prince William have not announced that they're holding a worldwide poll to name their little prince. They're being so selfish — would it be that hard to set up an online voting system in which we select from four pre-determined names? (There'd be room for write-ins, of course, the monarchy's democratic like that.) Listen. We just want to know the royal baby name already. The suspense is killing us.

While there may not be naming ballots, there is, however, a way to get involved. If you're of the gambling sort, bookies have accepted hundreds of thousands of wagers and currently, the most bets have been placed on the names George and James. Alexander, Henry, Louis, Richard, and Arthur are on the second-tier.

The name George sounds sort of serious for a baby, but maybe if the nicknamed him Prince G., or G-Love, or Geo, or Grizzle, it'd be OK. James, on the other hand, is pretty cute. Aw, blimey, eeer comes lee-all Jimmay!

What they need to be careful of, though, is naming their son Kevin. According to study by German and North Carolinian researchers (what?), most people view Kevins negatively. Same goes for Chantal, for girls.

I don't think we're in danger of having a Prince Kevin, but frankly, if Will and Kate aren't going to go with Charming, then really, what's the point.