Oh. Okay. 65 Percent Of Women Hate Their Man's Shoes

In today's "How And Why Did That Survey Possibly Get Funded?" news, professional women think the shoe makes the man. U.S. men's shoemaker Allen Edmonds has released a survey confirming that 65 percent of professional women insist their significant other change shoes before he goes out. Fifty-nine percent of those women have purchased shoes for their boyfriend or husband (a very nice, not at all crazy thing to do), and 12 percent have thrown out his shoes (a very crazy, not at all nice thing to do).

According to this survey — and I feel the need to state that, since I have never once heard a friend, co-worker, or actual human being reflect these statistics — women are more than twice as likely to say shoes reflect their date's fashion sense, personality, financial position, and attention to detail. So, basically, if you are a man and have poor taste in footwear, you also probably consider wearing your college spirit shirt "dressing up," are rude to small children and elderly people, don't have a job, and are bad at puzzles.

Your average women probably won't break off a relationship on the grounds of "you wear socks with sandals," but the choices we make when getting dressed in the morning do affect how others judge us. We don't spin a wheel to get dressed in the morning, which means that even the least sartorially inclined person has made some sort of decision about what they're wearing. If that decision is along the lines of "I'm going to wear the hole-ridden, smelly, checkered Vans that I've been wearing since high school to meet your parents" (freshman year of college boyfriend, I'm looking at you), then perhaps that does indeed speak to that person's personality. Certainly, shoes (or any garment of clothing) are not the defining factor as to whether or not a person has their life together, but it can say something about that person's sense of self-pride and ambition.