Lifetime Plus 'Flowers in the Attic' Equals Incestuous Disaster

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Maybe I am just old-fashioned, but I'm not a huge fan of on-screen incest (or any real-life incest, for that matter), so I'm not elated that it's reported Lifetime will be making Flowers in the Attic. It'll be their own version of the super freaky, super smutty 1979 novel. Not familiar with the book? Quick recap: family of four pale children are taken by their mother to live with their terrifying rich grandmother after their father dies; teen incest and poisoned donuts ensue. The V.C. Andrews book was adapted for the screen in 1987, starring Victoria Tennant as mother Corinne and Louise Fletcher as grandmother Olivia. Heather Graham and Ellen Burnstyn have signed on to Lifetime's project as the dysfunctional mom and grandma, respectively.

The 1987 movie version of Flowers didn't actually show any incest a-happening between teenagers Chris and Cathy, but I have a feeling that Lifetime will go there. They have no problem capitalizing on the outrageous to get ratings, be they good or bad. In fact, before the Jodi Arias trial had even wrapped, Lifetime had put a movie in the works (called Dirty Little Secret, if you haven't had the honor to see it). Ridiculous smut is sort of the network's forte. However, that's no reason to make a movie about teen twincest.

Maybe the network is still reeling from the enormous failure of Liz and Dick and wants to provide an even weirder distraction, but please, Lifetime. Just stick to pregnancy pacts and online murderers. It's where you shine.