The theme of this year's Billboard Music Awards? Apparently, it's the World Cup. We though it was a little weird when J.Lo and Pitbull came out swinging in favor of FIFA to kick off the show, but later on in the night, the now single Ricky Martin performed his contribution to the official World Cup album (wait, they have one of those?). What's going on here? Why are the Billboard Awards like one long commercial for the World Cup?
The jury's still out on that one, but as far as representing the most prestigious soccer competition in the world, Lopez and Martin are right on. However, their similar performances were basically a competition, so now, I must accept the responsibility of claiming a victor in the Ricky Martin vs. Jennifer Lopez World Cup Performance Smackdown.
Let's examine our competitors. Lopez's performance included a lot more dancers (and, consequently, chaos) — not to mention the assistance of Pitbull. And we can't forget the awful booty shorts. Where the most impressive visual affects are concerned, Lopez came out on top. However, just because there was more dancers involved doesn't mean the actual dancing was any good. After watching it, I couldn't help but feel a little sad about the fact that Lopez isn't quite the entertainer she used to be. Insert sad face Emoji here.
Martin, however, flawlessly executed each and every choreographed dance move, and he looked fantastic. Even though I didn't understand a word of the lyrics — which were entirely in Spanish — I wanted to get up and dance. You know, if getting off the couch seemed like a viable option. And while watching Martin bust a move on that Billboards stage, it was kind of hard to believe that the former pop superstar is 42-years-old... AKA old enough to humiliate his kids when he dances in public. Damn, Ricky. You look good.
As much as I want to love JLo's performance based on what an awesome American Idol judge she is, I can't. I have to hand this one to Martin. He is very clearly the winner in the World Cup Performance Smackdown, and if I had a World Cup to give him for winning, I totally would. And then, of course, he'd write another song for the soundtrack. Sorry, I'm done.