Alleged Burglar Robs George Clooney's Wine Cellar For Liquid Courage, We Assume
For as long as celebrities have had homes, there have been people breaking into them. Well, for as long as celebrities have had homes and the Internet has existed to help people find those homes, there have been people breaking into them. George Clooney has reportedly joined the likes of Selena Gomez and Khloe Kardashian on the long list of celebrities who have had their house burglarized. However, his story differs from theirs in a very interesting way. According to The Telegraph, Clooney's burglar headed for the wine cellar rather than Clooney's house.
The alleged burglar, whose name has yet to be released, scaled the walls of Clooney's Italian villa at Lake Como on Wednesday and made his way to the wine cellar to help himself. Oh, he attempted to break into George Clooney's villa eventually. He was spotted by a member of Clooney's staff who then called the police. When they arrived, the burglar tried to fight them off with the same wine bottle that he'd just stolen and, after the police presumably stopped laughing, they overpowered and arrested him.
There are so many questions that this story raises that it's hard to even know where to start. In the first place, how amazing must George Clooney's wine cellar be that a burglar would skip all of the priceless items sure to be in his actual home to grab some wine first? Why would a burglar need wine that badly? Was he late to make a toast at his sister's reception dinner and they'd run out of wine? Had he been outbid on a really good bottle on eBay that morning and wanted to take it out on George Clooney? Did he need liquid courage for the real robbery itself?
Admittedly, there are no good reasons to break into a person's home, but at least in the case of Selena Gomez and Khloe Kardashian there was a clear motive. Gomez's burglar Che Cruz wanted to meet her really badly. Kardashian's burglar stole $250,000 in items. Next to those, stealing wine seems like a waste of time. You can buy that at any liquor store, dude. Come on.
For the record, George Clooney was not present at the villa when the burglary occurred, but if it's true then he'll probably be going there soon. He needs to hire an entire staff of security whose only job is to guard his wine with their lives now.