Porktrack Website Tells You What Song You Were Conceived To

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Most of us probably don’t really want to know the circumstances surrounding our own conception, given that it involved our parents. But my curiosity couldn’t help but be piqued by a new website promising to determine which song was pumping while your parents were getting busy, making babies (aka you). Created by Reddit user literallyelvis, the site is called — wait for it — Porktrack. Ha! It would be really disturbing if it weren’t so hilariously absurd.

So how does it work? Basically, all you have to do is plug in your birthday, and the site pulls up one of the top songs from the Billboard’s Hot 100 chart from 40 weeks before that date. If you “had a peculiar birth” and were born early, it accounts for the time difference by allowing you to put in how many days before your due date you were born.

OK, so it’s not exactly scientific. It doesn’t take personal music preference or genre into consideration at all, and it only goes back to 1960, so I guess older people will just have to deal with not knowing. But it is, at the very least, amusing.

Case in point? I put in my birthday and found I was likely conceived to “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin — a probability I couldn’t help but find ironic as I am probably the biggest worrywart of my entire family. I also tried it with more recently born famous babies and those results were even more comical. North West was apparently conceived to Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” (I can’t stop laughing, given Taylor and Kanye’s history) while Blue Ivy Carter’s conception song is Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” That is just too good.

In any case, go ahead and try your own birthday. Come on — you know you want to...