Entertainment

5 Solutions to common 'Under the Dome' problems

by Henning Fog

This goddamn dome. Things were okay for a few hours, maybe a day or two after the abomination came down. There's no way it would be there forever, after all, and so it made sense to calm down; focus on something else. But recently, and by recently I mean "last night's episode," things have just been getting wacky under there. A nuclear bomb detonation tends to encourage that! Dome life is no longer what it once was. But just because daily existence seems to be rapidly devolving into a lawless hellscape doesn't mean we can't all live civilly, or at least learn how to solve our problems. What is everybody, a barbarian? There are defined codes of conduct by which we can all live.

Problem #1: No insulin

Solution: Steal it. This one's sort of a no-brainer, so it makes sense two teens would be the ones to figure it out. 23 diabetics in Chester's Mill means 23 people in need of regular insulin shots. With supply cut off from the outside world…that's it. No more insulin. Thankfully Norrie and Joe were able to steal at least one vial, which they returned to Norrie's biological mom. Goes to show you teens can get anything done so long as it involves theft and needles. Everyone else should follow suit, you know, if necessary.

Problem #2: We're running out of water and that truck careening into the water tower did NOT help

Solution: Don't worry, it rains in here, guys! We didn't think it would or even could but it totally does. The chick who works at the radio tower explained the dome's "evaporation process," suggesting that within the dome is a basically self-contained ecosystem. And, despite the methane runoff into the river, the precipitation that eventually comes from it is totally safe to drink. Who'd have thought that science could save everyone?

Problem #3: Poor reception

Solution: Blame teenagers. First it was those horrendous "charging parties" they were so fond of throwing, and ruining property to do so. Now they're compromising the smooth alternative sounds of the local radio station, and thus increasing the stress of a population who just wants to groove on Train. But as Julia and the radio chick learned tonight, shoving two of those teenagers against the Dome resolves all signal issues. Practical AND cathartic.

Problem #4: Looting

Solution: For this one? We're going old school: smoke bombs and pistols. Those hippies will never know what hit them! Sure it's probably an excessive reaction to townies just trying to stock up on Nature Valley bars, but life post-Dome is all about laying down rules for living. You steal, you get smoke-bombed. It's really that simple.

Problem #5: Junior

Solution: KILL THE BASTARD ALREADY. Now we didn't see this solution implemented tonight, but there's always hope that someone in Chester's Mill will wise up and brain the newest sheriff's deputy with authority. Until that happens, I guess we can just be happy Angie's no longer tied up in a basement. Partial credit?

Image: TV.com