Mercury Retrograde Is Making Some Celebs Go Off the Rails (Lookin' at You, Beyonce)
Mercury is in retrograde, and everything and everyone you know is going apeshit... including celebrities. But what exactly is Mercury retrograde? It's a three-week or so period when the planet travels backward, making everything down here on earth topsy-turvy. Bustle's Phylisa Joy breaks all the planetary astrological madness down here, and gives some sound advice on how to keep Mercury retrograde from doing you in and making your life go haywire.
This current period of Mercury retrograde will last until July 2, which means you have three weeks to lay low and send those emails to your drafts folder, because Mercury retrograde really does a number on communication, among other things. But this ass-backwards planetary motion could explain why some famouses have been acting bizarrely, or not like themselves, recently — yes, it takes a certain amount of crazy to be famous in the first place, but the behaviors of some celebs recently might point the blame to the sky, rather than to their PR teams (or, god forbid, themselves!) Here are some celebs who have been exhibiting some especially weird behavior that they can just blow-off as a symptom of being under Mercury's influence. Mercury! The perfect scapegoat for otherwise unexplained strange celebrity behavior. Thanks, you saucy planet, you!
1. Naya Rivera leaving and coming back to Twitter in the blink of an eye.
The action: Remember when Naya left Twitter? No? That's because she was only gone for three days, and it looks like her departure, which caused a lot of fan concern, was just a ploy to get people to buy the newest issue of Galore, of which she's the covergirl. You sneaky sneak!
Why she can blame it on Mercury: because Mercury retrograde makes us make some questionable choices re: social media.
2. Dave Chapelle FINALLY coming clean about Chapelle's Show.
The action: He's been quiet for a long time about why he really left his show seven years ago, but on Tuesday night in an interview with David Letterman, Dave Chapelle finally lifted the lid on the reasoning behind some of his actions. It's not a totally transparent interview, which is understandable, but it's still an astonishing move from the comedian who's so private. "Technically I never quit, I'm just seven years late to work," he said.
Why he can pin it on Mercury: It's all about communicating CLEAR, and maybe Chapelle felt pulled by the planet to finally come clean to his audience.
3. Cumberbatch is getting... animated?
The action: It's not the worst idea, but it's certainly bizarre — Benedict Cumberbatch has signed on to play a secret-agent animated wolf in the next Madagascar movie. His slick, smooth voice is on-point for the part, but why are you doing this now Cumberbatch, when you SHOULD be filming endless seasons of Sherlock?
Advice he should have taken from Mercury: Take time to think before signing contracts! Sure, you may want to be an animated wolf now, but is it going to be worth it when Sherlock-ed fans start demanding more detective work?
4. Gwen and Bey
The action: Oh hell no. Goop is kidnapping Beyonce for a girls' "retreat," which I think is something more sinister — only bad can come of this, Bey! Gwyneth has planned a four-day California adventure and is taking Beyonce along for the ride, but why would Bey agree to this? Perhaps Goop is going to try to convince Yonce of her negative water theory?
Advice for Bey, from Mercury: Reschedule this trip, or cancel it. Because there's a lack of communication during this planetary phase, this trip is bound to be a DISASTER.
5. Adam Levine "apologizes" to all his ex-ladies.
The action: The man responsible for "Moves Like Jagger" (unforgivable) is trying to say sorry to all his ex-girlfriends before he marries his new model girlfriend. Adam Levine issued some apologies to women he's dated in the past, and what's he apologizing for? Basically, for being a dick.
Why he can blame it on Mercury?: Mercury Retrograde is a good time to reflect and reach out to people from your past, buuuut before you try that out, you should make sure you weren't such a reprehensible little turd and that your apologies won't be epically SHUT DOWN.
The rest of us just have to worry about all our selfies being deleted from our iPhones or saying the absolute wrong thing to the wrong person — all communication and electronic devices are going haywire. But for these celebrities, they really should have laid low: you can't afford to let Mercury jerk you around when the whole Twitterverse is watching.