Why Liberals Are Like Androids, Republicans Apple

Rush Limbaugh's at it again, this time saying that Republicans are like Apple — because "everyone hates Apple," but they remain the best and brightest out there.

The conservative commentator behind one-liners like "feminism was established so as to allow unattractive women easier access to the mainstream of society" and book titles like See, I Told You So knows his tech. Well, he thinks he does. In an episode of his radio show, Limbaugh compares Republicans vs. Democrats to the intense rivalry between Apple and, um, everybody:

I would venture to say that nine out of 10 bloggers writing high-tech hate Apple. Apple is the equivalent of the Republicans on these blogs, and Google, Android, and Samsung are the equivalent of the Democrats. They're perfect, they can't do anything wrong, they're ideal, and everybody hates Apple.

Let's decipher this ramble: Limbaugh, being very down with the kids, is aware that some tech outlets like to Apple-bash and support the underdogs. (Unfortunately for Limbaugh, the techie community is generally the first to admit that most Apple products are of a decent calibre, and that a massive chunk of electronics out there have taken their lead from groundbreaking products like the iPad.) He's also aware that Apple makes good products that people enjoy — sometimes almost religiously.

Limbaugh is vocal ('vocal' is here a euphemism for 'bellowing at every occasion') about what he views as the media's liberal bias. Therefore, he's saying: Republicans a) put the best stuff out there, b) aren't appreciated in this venture, and c) are targeted and criticized by the media. This would be a good metaphor if, you know, it made sense.

Next up: Limbaugh compares Republicans to the protagonist in Plato's Cave. Probably.