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What a Cute, Corrupt Couple

by Sarah Hedgecock

The VIP section at Sunday's World Cup Final held all kinds of celebrities and leaders, including Vladimir Putin and FIFA President Sepp Blatter, the dynamic duo of corruption. The two soccer buddies, brought to the world's attention by Buzzfeed, seemed to be having a jolly old time at the game, if by "jolly" you mean "totally shady-looking." Meanwhile, third wheel Angela Merkel sat awkwardly by, pointedly trying to ignore the two stern lovebirds.

There's no way this happened by accident, right? The two heads of some of the most famously corrupt groups in the world didn't just request to be sat next to each other so they could act all suspicious and prompt online posts like these, did they? Is the seating arrangement a kind of damage control intended to show that Putin and Blatter are just two totally nonreviled dudes who like to watch a nice sports game together? Could they find nowhere else to plot their next sinister move? Oh, dear – don't tell me that they're already planning the outcomes of every game of the 2018 Russia World Cup.

I'm with you, Angela: Best just to sit this whole thing out. At least they have each other. And their piles of dirty money.

Image: AP via Shashank Joshi/Twitter