George Harrison Memorial Tree Destroyed By Pun-Loving Beetles
I usually apologize for my puns, but this time, I'm not going to since nature pretty much handed this one to me. According to The Los Angeles Times, the beetles destroyed George Harrison's memorial tree. Like, the actual insect beetles — not The Beatles. Obviously, these insects had it up to here with the iconic pop group's reign over Beatle-mania and took to Harrison's memorial tree as a way to express their envious rage. It's time the beetles had the headlines they deserve!
To put it simply (and by that I mean without discussing any jealous, fame-hungry insects), Harrison's memorial tree, which was planted in 2004 in Griffith Park, died from an infestation of beetles. The tree will be replanted because a beetle on Beatle crime will not be tolerated, you know?
So, rest assured, Beatles fans — Ringo Starr and Paul McCartney did not assemble to wreak havoc on Harrison's memorial, so quiet your urges to incite a posthumous tabloid headline for Harrison. (Beatles destroy Harrison's memorial tree!) However, if one person who gets this news makes a spelling error and writes "beatles" instead of "beetles," then a bad game of Internet telephone might ensue. So to repeat: the insects took down the tree, not the humans.
But who knows — maybe those beetles were like, "this is our grand opportunity to make a public statement about our love for puns." Well played, little dudes.