Beyoncé Is the Best Boyfriend Ever

It's common knowledge that Beyoncé is not merely a human. Like Hercules, she has to be at the very least a demigod. Or maybe she's a wizard, I'm not sure. But what I am sure of is that she's been blessed with the voice of an angel, a killer body, and no matter which way she styles that mane of hers, it somehow always looks fabulous. Like, does weather even affect her? Does a force field surround her when it rains? Regardless, Beyoncé is an anomaly and if I didn't love her so much I'd probably hate her. Because I'm petty and jealous, obvs not for anything she's done.

As you well may know, Bey is currently off gallivanting around the United States on her tour with some guy named Jay Z. But somehow, late at night, as she rests her weary head on her plush travel-sized pillow in her state of the art tour bus, she still manages to conquer the world. Yes, you've guessed it, Queen Bey has added yet another talent to her ridiculously full repertoire. No, not anything business-wise, I'm pretty sure she's got that end handled. I'm talking more ... personal.

Bey has become your boyfriend. Well, actually, let me rephrase that. Beyoncé has taken the reigns from your lame, inattentive, whiny, ex-boyfriend who you ended things with after four years, a puppy, and a tropical vacation where you fought the entire time over mojitos and a killer buffet. You see, you don't need any man who doesn't appreciate you and a delicious mixed drink when you have Bey herself to remind you that you're never alone. I mean, the girl wrote "Irreplaceable," she gets what it's like to end a shitty relationship. She's super in tune to your needs and that's exactly what you need during a rough time.

Cassandra Blackwel, a scorned ex-girlfriend and seriously amazing human, took the liberty of cutting and pasting Beyoncé's image over that of her ex-boyfriend's in their most romantic couple pictures. And, I've gotta say, they look positively in love. As anyone would be, I suppose, it's Beyoncé. To alert the masses of her new great love, Blackwel made a Tumblr dedicated to her new, imagined relationship with Mrs. Carter, called "Beyoncify My Boyfriend." In an effort to solidify her title as the coolest human on Earth, Blackwel is also offering to Beyonicfy your exes if you send her a picture.

So, hypothetically, Beyoncé can be all of our boyfriends. HOW DID WE GET SO LUCKY?!

Here's the evidence that Bey is better at being your boyfriend than your boyfriend ever was:

SHE WON'T COMPLAIN WHEN YOU WANT TO TAKE A ROMANTIC BEACH SELFIE

Look how happy she is to oblige!

SHE'S WILLING TO TAKE YOU TO THE CHRISTMAS WONDERLAND EXPO EVEN THOUGH SHE'S BEEN A MILLION TIMES

Because she LOVES you!

SHE LOOKS GREAT IN A PAIR OF KHAKIS & A POLO

And that's important considering it's the boyfriend uniform.

SHE ISN'T AFRAID OF INTIMACY

Like some people you know...

SHE THINKS IT'S CUTE TO MATCH

Long, light hair, side bangs, and dark and defined brows? Twinsies!

SHE PROUDLY FLAUNTS YOUR RELATIONSHIP REGARDLESS OF THE FLAK SHE GETS FROM FRIENDS

There is no such thing as "whipped." There is only love. 'Yoncé gets it.

Images: BeyoncifyMyBoyfriend/Tumblr