Fiona Apple Is Mad at You

So, apparently Fiona Apple did not storm off stage during a Tokyo Louis Vuitton event last week — she would like you to know that she completed her set, and also, everyone will always lie to you. My love for her just keeps growing.

Here are the deets: Last week reports surfaced that Apple grew agitated that people were talking loudly while she was performing at a Louis Vuitton event, and she asked them a few times to shut up before ultimately walking off stage mid-set. Apple doesn't deny that people were rudely speaking loudly while she was trying to do her job as a performer and, ya know, perform, but she denies leaving before she'd played the entire time she was scheduled to. Apple explained it all in a message on Questlove's site, OkayPlayer:

if it wouldn’t be too much trouble, if you could tweet to the twits who call themselves journalists(example Chris Martins of sit-and-Spin Magazine) that I FINISHED MY SET!!! I did my job, and they should do theirs too–They all miss the fact that there is a difference between the back-of-the-room-chatter that is simply annoying,–and the operatic drunken blather, or the heckling that is really just INTERRUPTING that makes it impossible for us to do our jobs. I hope your readers are already hip to the fact that they are consistently lied to… no apologies. -Fiona.

Got that? Fiona didn't leave before she was supposed to, people were drunkenly talking too loud at that party, and she hopes that readers of Questlove's OkayPlayer site know they are consistently being lied to by the media. This has to be the most Fiona Apple way that Fiona Apple has ever denied rumors in the history of EVER.

Now, let's all reminisce on Fiona Apple's other most-Fiona Apple-moment-ever: