It's not easy to love Glee, what with the school shooting episodes that border on offensive, story lines that make no sense, and competition trophies that the New Directions didn't rightfully earn (Jessica Sanchez wiped the floor with them last season). But is it possible that the Fox series might do a decent job paying tribute to the band that was once "bigger than Jesus"? The set list for Glee's Beatles tribute episode has been released, and now that we have the catalog, it's possible they'll do it justice ... if they follow these instructions:
1. Do not let Artie reference John Lennon's "bigger than Jesus" quote.
I can do it because I'm a pop culture writer. Artie can't because his often over-inflated ego will inevitably misinterpret the historical wrappings of the quote.
2. Refrain from having any four New Directions members don matching suits and bowl cuts while performing any of the songs listed below (some because it would be historically inaccurate and others because it would be generally awful):
"Yesterday""Drive My Car""Got To Get You Into My Life""You've Got to Hide Your Love Away""Help""A Hard Day's Night""I Saw Her Standing There""All You Need is Love""Get Back""Here Comes the Sun""Something""Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band""Hey Jude""Let It Be"
3. Let whoever arranged Kurt's heartbreakingly sweet rendition of "I Want to Hold Your Hand" work their magic again.
This is absolutely beautiful. Bring that magic back, please.
4. Don't take the "Tina in the Sky With Diamonds" theme too far.
Cute episode name for the second part of your two-part Beatles tribute, guys, but don't get cocky. Think about the fact that Paul McCartney's kid drew a picture, called it "Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds," and that McCartney (who'd done a significant amount of LSD) took it to the group as song material. Hippie costumes, kaleidoscope filters, and literal interpretations need not apply.
5. DO NOT reference the fact that Glee topped the Beatles on iTunes. Have a little R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Sure, it's true. And yes, Glee is a fan of referencing its own pop culture relevance. But please, for love of all things Lennon, don't let them disrespect the band they're supposedly toasting with two entire episodes by referencing their own success. Please (please me).