Sarah Palin Will "Hopefully" Run For President In 2016 Because Of "Haters," Here Are 6 Slogans She Could Use
When considering a presidential bid, it is generally good practice to have a motivating factor, a platform that will — if nothing else — lend itself to a nice campaign slogan. For Obama it was change, which gave us "Yes We Can," for the first Bush it was taxes, which gave us, "Read my lips: no new taxes," and for the second Bush's second term, it was the War on Terror. But when Sarah Palin "hopefully" enters the 2016 presidential race, her motivation will be much simpler, and much more honest: she wants to show the "haters" that she's still around.
Sure, it's not as grandiose as tackling healthcare or immigration or education, but it's definitely a viable motivation. After all, who among us doesn't get a rise out of proving our skeptics wrong? The main difference, of course, is that most of us don't enter a presidential race to do so, but if that's Palin's modus operandi, then so be it. We need more women on the ticket anyway.
The former governor of Alaska alluded to her upcoming decision on a recent interview with Fox Business Channel, in which she was asked if "hatred" from her critics and opponents had dissuaded her from further pursuing politics. And like any true politician, Palin responded with just the opposite:
No, bless their hearts, those haters out there. They don't understand that it invigorates me, it wants me to get out there and defend the innocent. It makes me want to work so hard for justice in this country. So hey, the more they are pouring on, the more I'm gonna bug the crap out of them by being out there with the voice, with the message, hopefully running for office in the future too.
The question was certainly a reasonable one, as Palin hasn't held public office since 2009, when she resigned from her first and only term as Alaska's governor following an unsuccessful vice presidential run on the 2008 Republican ticket. She declined to run as a presidential candidate in 2012, but has been playing it coy when it comes to the possibility of 2016. Back in March, she told Fox News' Greta Van Susteren that she would "never say never" to the White House, but would defer to the American people to determine what they wanted in a candidate before making any final decisions. And if what the American people want is someone who is willing to run to shut the haters up, then Sarah Palin will be the candidate of choice.
Of course, if that's not the case, then Palin has a few backup options in place too. In her most recent Fox interview, she named Senators Ted Cruz (R-TX) and Mike Lee (R-UT), both Tea Party darlings, like herself, as "good leaders" who would be well-suited to lead the United States. Neither of them has announced intentions to pursue the presidency, but have both been slated by numerous conservatives as good choices for the Republican ticket. Though he went unmentioned by Palin (that hater!) Jeb Bush is reportedly "more than likely" going to run in 2016 because you might as well get all the Bushes into the White House while you're at it.
But if Palin does decide to come out of the woodwork and into the presidential race, here are a few campaign slogans she might consider, based on our latest statement about haters and defending the innocent.
Palin 2016: Bugging the Crap Out of Voters
Because let's be honest, when it comes down to it, that's what really gets votes — being annoying. I mean, who actually enjoys meeting candidates? Maybe some people go to the polls just to avoid having to shake hands with the future president.
Palin 2016: defending the innocent from the haters
Nothing is jeopardizing the future of innocent Americans more than the hate-filled critics of Sarah Palin who never stopped playing Tina Fey's SNL skit because it was just too good.
Palin 2016: the voice in your head you just can't shut out
Again, that's what you need to do in a presidential race, you know? Beat them over the head with your message until the only thing they can do is give you their vote. Why else do you think Obama took to social media and text messaging so frantically? You never leave them alone.
Palin 2016: Justice for the haters
Well, would it be justice for the haters, or for Sarah Palin? Who is really in need of justice in this scenario? And would justice for the haters mean punishment by way of a Palin administration? Many questions arise from this slogan.
Palin 2016: where is the love?
Seriously, haters, what's your problem? Just because she's from Alaska doesn't mean she can handle all this chilly treatment.
Palin 2016: shake it off
Taylor Swift never goes out of style.
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