Hershey's New Reese's Peanut Butter Chocolate Spread Answers Our Collective Prayers

Candy aisle monopolizer Hershey’s has tapped into your Nutella-filled fantasies to create what could quite possibly be the end of us all: a spreadable Reese’s bar. The Hershey Company’s new Reese’s Peanut Butter Chocolate Spread will launch this month, and according to a press release from the distributor, Hersey knows exactly what they’re setting us up for. “Based on the iconic Reese's Peanut Butter Cup,” says the company, “new Reese's Spreads will make snacking even more delicious and can be enjoyed on any food, anytime, anywhere.” Any food, Hershey’s? Surely there are limits to this Reese’s snacktastic love affair.

Hershey's Brand Manager Daren Russ made a statement about the company’s new sugary intoxicant: "Reese's Spreads offer an authentic Reese's experience to fans who are looking for delicious snack options throughout the day. Since 1928, we have been delivering the perfect combination of chocolate and peanut butter. With the launch of Reese's Spreads, we are honoring our great heritage and bringing consumers a new, but still perfect, way to enjoy the Reese's brand."


So what's next, you ask? Here are some other things we'd like to see spreadable versions of.

Spreadable Pizza

No, I am not foolish enough to think that this hasn’t already been done. But after a quick Google sweep, I failed to find a bottled and spreadable Pizza by a somewhat respectable or established brand. Please imagine a world in which literally anything could taste like pizza, and then remember that your actual reality pales by comparison.


Spreadable Macaroni & Cheese

Free million dollar idea: Shrink the macaroni and develop a cheese that doesn’t taste like cardboard. This isn’t so much a suggestion as a plea.


Spreadable Whiskey

Ha, ha. Just kidding! Totally, absolutely kidding.


...But toast on toast though, right?

Image: sara_winter/Fotolia; Giphy (3)