If you’re not going home for Thanksgiving this year, you’re probably sick to death of everyone else gloating about how much they’re looking forward to seeing every single one of their relatives tomorrow. But don’t worry — the new comedy web series Cooking for One has you covered with its detailed instructions on how to make a Thanksgiving dinner for one. Hoorah!
Created and starring actress Alex Trow and written, directed, and produced by the New York Picture Company, the parody cooking show features Trow as Julianna "The Crying Chef" Jones, a top New York chef who just can’t seem to make it through a recipe without having some sort of breakdown. For her inaugural episode, she’s teaching us to make a Thanksgiving dish “you can gobble gobble gobble!... all by yourself.”
Cue the awkward pause.
And wouldn’t you know it — the technique she will be demonstrating today is spatchcocking, that term which I first encountered roughly a week ago and have been seeing everywhere since. And thanks to Trow’s impeccable timing, it’s as hilarious as you think it is. Here is but a small sampling of the many, many crises she has throughout the creation of this dish; scroll down to watch the whole thing:
“Is that true that there are no turkeys in Europe?”
That’s so sad!
“This isn’t a turkey — it’s a poussin, a baby chicken.”
That poor chicken!
Reminding yourself what the rest of your family is probably up to
“Mama Jones is probably at home right now, working the double oven; and all the little cousins are coming back from the annual Thanksgiving Mayflower Speedboat Regatta; little Jimmy has probably got this pilgrim hat that’s probably in the ocean, ‘cause it’s Thanksgiving, you know?” And guess who’s not there to see it all? This gal. Sniff.
Buttering your bird
“It’s like when your mom was there for you when you were little, and you didn’t want to put sunscreen on — but she made you put sunscreen on. Because you know what? She’s your mom.” The butter, in this case, is the sunscreen. I think that makes us the poussin’s mom, but since we kind of killed the poussin… oh god we’re monsters.
The existential crisis
What am I doing with my life?!
The whole thing is hilarious (and actually does teach you how to make a pretty awesome-looking spatchcocked poussin), so I highly recommend watching it. Even if you’re doing Thanksgiving on your own, though, it doesn’t have to be the Turkey Day equivalent of Sad Desk Lunch. Neither my SO nor I are visiting our parents this year — it’s a little too difficult for us to travel cross-country for both the December holidays and Thanksgiving, so we picked one on which to travel and one to stay put — and we’re not really doing a Friendsgiving thing, either. Instead, we’re having a low-key celebration of our own: A sizable turkey breast done in the Crock Pot instead of a full bird, some roasted root veggies, and some sort of seasonally appropriate dessert (possibly involving sweet potatoes). And you know what? We’re really sort of fine with it. We’ve both been working a lot lately, so mostly we’re just looking forward to being able to chill out together and maybe play some Super Smash Bros. Nothing says “Thanksgiving” like pitting Link and Charizard against each other, am I right?
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone — whether you’re having a huge celebration or a modest one!
Images: NewYorkPictureCo/YouTube (5)